


Developing Circumstances

by FluentInFangirl12



Category: Phineas and Ferb, Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Murder, Bisexual Male Character, Blood and Injury, Brothers, Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Gay, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), M/M, Murder, Mutual Pining, Perry needs a hug, mute character, uncle perry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28083030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluentInFangirl12/pseuds/FluentInFangirl12
Summary: Ever since the death of Lawrence and Linda, things have been hard, and OWCA is not making that any easier. When the Flynn-Fletchers are forced to flee their home and seek shelter with an old nemesis, what will happen to this small family? Will they be ripped apart or can Perry keep them all together?
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 15
Kudos: 96





	1. Something Off

Perry sat up in bed, coated in sweat. No more sleep for him tonight. He looked around his room, the only light filtering in from the hall. Ever since he’d first moved in with the Flynn-Fletchers, Linda had always insisted on leaving the light on in the hall in case he needed to use the restroom. Shaking his head to clear it of the fog, he swung his legs out of bed and slipped on his fluffy teal sweatpants. Lawrence had bought them for him his first year here as a gag gift on Christmas because they matched his hair.

  
_Enough of that_ , he tells himself. He checks his phone on the nightstand. No notifications, thankfully. 3:09 am. Again. He stands slowly, stretching his limbs. The black t-shirt he threw on the floor is still there, so he picks it up and slips it on. Grabbing his phone, he silently creeps down the stairs in order to avoid waking the kids.

  
By now, he’s learned where the squeaky floorboards are in the house. 6 years of living in a single location and having to sneak out for work at odd hours will do that to you. The darkness covering the house is warm and full, like a soft blanket. Peaceful. He knows where the pictures hang, where the cracks in the paint are, even where the spiders like to build their nests. This is the longest he’s ever stayed in one location. He hopes he and the kids won’t have to move soon.

  
Barefoot, he slides into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He won’t be able to sleep anymore anyway, he might as well get some paperwork done before the kids get up and see him. Maybe he can make them a nice breakfast. He sits alone at the dining table as he waits, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the apps for a bit. Nothing new. Nothing ever seemed new to him, ironically. He was a secret agent and had done so many things and yet recently, nothing seemed exciting. He barely managed to get through the days anymore. The stubble on his chin was growing out and his hair was unkempt, not just from sleeping.

  
The pot dinged and he quickly rushed over to silent it. As he stood by the back window getting his mug filled, he felt something was off. Training kicking in, Perry started listening. Silence. He looked around without making it too obvious.

  
Nothing. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong.

  
He spared a casual glance out the window. The moon was full, it’s light bathing the backyard. He could clearly see the whole outline of the old tree that the boys made all their inventions under last summer. Even their favorite spots to sit as they contemplated their next project. But Perry saw it, just the littlest glint.

  
A phone behind the tree, in the moonlight. He should have known this would happen.

  
Fighting the wave of panic overcoming him, Perry came up with a quick plan. Taking his cup of coffee and leaving it on the table, he tiptoed to the boys’ room, making sure to avoid the windows. The door opened silently. Moving over to Phineas’s bed because it was closer to the door, he gently tapped his nephew’s shoulder a couple times.

  
Phineas’s bleary eyes opened, a small hint of surprise in their depths, masked by sleep. “Un-” Perry plastered one of his index fingers to the boy’s lips and the other to his own. _Don’t speak._ Young eyebrows knitted together and he nodded slowly. _Wake up Ferb, pack your backpacks with 3 changes of clothes. Don’t make a sound. Meet me by the garage door in 5 minutes. Get your shoes._  
Phineas looked a little concerned, but he didn’t have time to elaborate. He moved on to Candace’s room, silently thankful that she slept with a full change of nightclothes on. He moved to the bed and tapped her awake as he had Phineas just moments before. “Ugh, Mom, just five mo-”

  
Index finger to her lips. Her eyes snapped open, startled. _Pack some clothes. No electronics. Put on your shoes. Grab Ducky Momo. Don’t make a sound._ She opened her mouth again and he waved her off of it. _Meet me and the boys by the garage door in 5 minutes. Avoid the windows._ Remember, no noise. Now she looked downright frightened and he truly felt bad. But if he didn’t get them out now…

  
Perry didn’t finish that thought. They didn’t have much time.

  
He slipped back upstairs and grabbed his own backpack, stuffing it with 2 shirts, a pair of pants, some underwear and socks, and a tube of toothpaste. He slipped on his sneakers and at the last second, grabbed his extra hat - the one without fancy gadgets or trackers, his very first hat - and stuffed it in the back of his shirt. He left his phone on the nightstand and rushed back down the stairs, taking extra care to avoid the windows. He couldn’t risk them seeing him. He noticed his abandoned coffee on the table and momentarily felt regret at not finishing it. Damn it, now is not the time. He quietly opened the door to the garage and grabbed out everyone’s helmet. Then he took the tarp off his old bike. Perry looked at it for a moment, the realization striking him that he didn’t remember how much gas was in it. It had been three weeks since he had last used it.

  
He heard a slight scuffle of shoes and saw the boys both standing in the light of the moon to the entrance of the garage, slightly hunched so as not to be seen by the window. _Candace?_ Perry signed. Ferb pointed back towards the bedrooms. He handed each of the boys their respective helmets and peeked down the hall to see Candace creeping ever so slowly towards him. He waved at her, gesturing for her to hurry. She scuttled along a little faster until she passed the window and reached the garage, at which point Perry softly shut the door and handed her the helmet. “Uncle Perry, what-” Perry waved his hands again, calling for silence. _I’ll explain soon. Dangerous here. They can hear us._

  
The blood drained from Candace’s face and the boys looked visibly frightened, especially poor Phineas. _Candace, closest to the handlebars but sit backwards. Ferb, against her chest. Phineas, against Ferb. All of you face backwards._ The kids did as he commanded without a word. He straddled the bike last, taking Candace’s hands and clasping them around his middle. He finally signed, _Whatever you do, don’t look. Trust me. Leave it all to me, just don’t open your eyes. Keep focused on my shirt._ The kids nodded grimly, looking terrified.

  
He felt Phineas and Ferb wrap their arms around him too. Candace squeezed as close as she could against them. They were as ready as they could be. He pressed the garage opener on his bike and roared the engine to life. Before the door had even lifted all the way, he sped out of the opening and off into the street.


	2. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OWCA is the predator and the Flynn-Fletchers are the prey.

It didn’t take long for OWCA to realize what had just happened. Before they were even onto the next street, three black sedans started giving chase. Perry glanced at his rearview mirror and saw exactly what he was hoping he wouldn’t - Major Monogram. He didn’t slow down as he sped around corners, leaning the bike so aggressively he damn near skinned his calves on the pavement. Each time he took a turn like that, he felt arms around him tighten so as to not lose their grip. He could feel Phineas’s heart pounding through both their shirts as he sped along street after street, trying to lose his pursuers. He exited the neighborhood onto the main street in town, looking for an alleyway he could easily slip into and be lost in. 

He should have known OWCA wouldn’t make it easy for him. The cars drove up upon either side to flank him, all three of them shooting down the road at the same pace. At his left, he saw Monogram lift a megaphone and begin talking, “Agent P. This is absolutely unnecessary. We gave you time, and I thought the answer was simple. It’d be easier for all of you if you’d just listen to our demands.” Perry didn’t even look his way, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. The third car was directly behind him, he couldn’t just slow down and give them the slip that way. “It’s not too late. Just stop the motorcycle and calmly release the children. No harm will come to you or them. If you do not, however, you will face jail time or even execution. It’s all up to you.” Again, no reaction. Nothing. He could tell Monogram was getting frustrated. “Peregrine, you are acting like a child. Just do this the easy way. We will win eventually. You know this.” Perry gritted his teeth and growled, deep in his chest. Like hell he would just give up his kids. 

He saw the gun in the other car. A simple pistol, cocked and loaded, but not yet aimed at his head. The agency also didn’t want to injure the kids. Moving at this speed and losing the driver could kill them. The cars started moving ever closer to him, inching their way inward. He was losing space. However, the car behind him was falling back…

This was the best chance he would get. He suddenly threw on the brakes, Candace screaming as he swerved to the right and the car behind him swerved left. He broke through the formation and immediately threw on the gas again, beelining for the sidewalk. He rode the walk, looking for an alleyway. That was all he needed, preferably one with a dumpster or branching paths. He could hear the three cars coming up behind him again, this time unable to surround him fully. 

“This is your last chance Agent P. Give them up now or we will open fire and consider you a rogue. Do you really want this?” If it meant keeping the kids, then yes. Yes every time. He spared a single look over his shoulder to raise a special finger at the cars behind him. Not the best idea, but it got the point across.  _ I’d rather die. _ In the rearview, he could see Agent E lean out the window and take aim. He started to swerve wildly, hoping to make her shot harder to make. Candace was screaming and the boys were trembling. 

A single gunshot rang out, followed almost immediately by a blooming surge of red in his left calf. He sucked in a breath, but kept going. “Uncle Perry!” Perry couldn’t stop now, they had gotten so far. Another shot, a miss this time he assumed because he felt nothing and the kids did not react. He could see a single gap coming up in the buildings, maybe just big enough for him to fit through. It was going to be tough. But it was his only chance. 

A third shot. Again, nothing. Knowing Agent E’s track record, there had to be something off. Was she purposefully aiming incorrectly to help him? She was one of his closest acquaintances at OWCA, maybe she pitied him. She was a mother herself. She likely understood his plight, why he refused to simply hand over the kids to the agency just for them to- 

A fourth shot, this time he felt it. In his left hand. Controlling the bike. He made a guttural noise on accident as he struggled to gain control of the bike. Now was their chance. 

He slowed drastically. Blood began to flow from the wound and hit his clothes, peppering the vehicles behind him. As he did, at the last moment, he swerved into the alley, barely making it inside. Handlebars skidded against brick and burning rubber The cars couldn’t fit in this narrow of a gap. It wouldn’t buy them much time, but hopefully enough to get them out of here. He drove for about 100 feet down the alleyway before swerving behind a dumpster. The whole alley reeked of decaying meat. Figures. He hopped off the bike and grabbed each of the boys in one arm in one fluid motion, throwing off his helmet. Candace hopped off and looked at him, wild-eyed. “Uncle Perry, what’s going on?” Her voice trembled. 

Instead of answering, he gestured to the end of the alley where a wood fence separated it into 2 halves. He set the boys down as he heard the agents’ voices. “They’re getting away, shoot while he’s in the open!” The gun glinted-

He vaulted Candace over the fence first, hearing a light thump as she hit the ground. He knocked and she shouted “Ready!” He all but threw Phineas over the fence and waited one second. Two. 

“Okay!” As he grabbed Ferb, the agents were running ever closer. He made a split second decision. He tossed Ferb high over the fence, tapping furiously on the watch still attached to his wrist. The bike began to smoke. Perry then vaulted himself over the fence as he heard the agents begin to run in the opposite direction, “That bastard, he set it off! Run! We can intercept him on the other side!” He hit the ground as it imploded, sending a shockwave through the earth and knocking him off his feet. What with the bullet in his calf, he groaned momentarily before forcing himself up. 

The kids all looked at him with wide eyes. He hoped that the shock would set in after they reached their destination. Perry looked around frantically, surveying the area before spotting it. A small crack between two buildings, hidden by darkness and almost unseeable unless standing here. He herded the kids in there, the boys squeezed in followed by Candace. He could tell that he couldn’t fit properly. 

Regardless, he forced himself in the tiny gap and again tapped his watch before coating it in the blood running down his arm and tossing it at the mouth of the alley. Then they waited. 

For awhile, it was quiet. All he could hear was the leftover fire from the bike crackling and the pounding of his own heart in his ears. They stayed like that for 10 minutes.

Footsteps came down the alley, the opposite direction from the fence. Voices. Murmurs, then Monogram’s louder exclamations. “His damn watch… I should have known this would happen sooner or later. I should have relocated his years ago.” 

“Sir, theres nothing to be done now. If he dropped his watch here, then they have to have left. Let’s search the surrounding area.”

Silence for a moment. “Alright. Let’s split up, they can’t have gone far. I’ll go this direction, W, you take the left. E, you stay here to make sure they aren’t still hiding here. I want those kids and I want Peregrine in prison.”

And with that, two pairs of footsteps left. One minute passed. Then another. The third step came closer. Perry shoved Candace further back, putting his hand up and getting ready to fight. 

“Perry, I know you’re here. Your blood leads there. Listen, I want to help you. The higher ups have ordered that your kids be taken into custody of OWCA and trained… though I’m sure you know that. You know I have kids at home and I would do the exact same as you’re doing. I know where you’re going but I don’t think the higher ups have picked up on it. I can get you down the straight path there. I won’t tell anyone, Pinky already knows. We’ll keep them off your trail. The office is going insane from the obvious lack of empathy they’re giving to your whole situation.” She paused, Perry finally breathed. “Please, Perry. Here, this is me setting the gun down.” He heard a metal clunk. 

Emotions began swirling in him, telling him not to trust her. But he had to. There was no other way. He steeled himself, then squeezed Candace’s hand. He left the safety of the crevice and faced Emily. She sighed as she saw him, bruised and bloody from the gunshot wounds. “I’m so sorry about that Perry… I had to make it believable for Monogram. Here, I can lead you and your kids in the right direction without disturbance. Get out of here, go live your lives somewhere else.” She stopped talking as she came upon the mouth of the alleyway. Perry followed her, gesturing to the kids. They followed him with their feet trailing, as if they were made of lead. They looked exhausted. 

“That alley right there, it leads straight to the building. Follow it, take the second left and then the third right. Then walk until you hit that one bus stop with no lights, then cross and just go straight. It dumps out in the parking lot.” He nodded along with her. She looked back at him, her blue eyes reflecting the light of the streetlamp. “I won’t tell Monogram. Promise. I’d do the same if I were you.” Looking at the kids, she said, “Stay close to him. He can protect you and I know he will until he can’t anymore.” Phineas, though still terrified, nodded grimly. Even he seemed speechless. Ferb stood like a statue, not even blinking. Candace bobbed her head but there was no meaning behind it, she was running on autopilot. 

_ Thank you, Emily _ . Perry signed with his bloodied hand.  _ I wish I could see you in the future but… we’ll have to see what happens _ . 

She chuckled. “It might be better if we never do, not that I never liked your company. Good luck, Agent P.” She gave the salute and smiled before talking into her watch, “I think I saw something next to the motorcycle. Reconvene there. Over.” She smiled one last time before vaulting herself over the fence. Then she was gone. 

Perry sighed. He grabbed Candace’s hand with his non-injured one and gestured for the boys to do the same. He couldn’t risk losing them to exhaustion. After the experience of crossing the street unnoticed, the whole trek went by silently. Perry was working on overdrive, trying to hear every sound, see everything he could, and kept glancing over his shoulder to see if they were being followed. They weren’t. The group made it to the bus stop without a hitch, none of the kids saying a single thing. Cross the street, keep walking. Another twenty minutes passed in almost complete darkness. No sound. Not even rats in the garbage. No birds or any scuttling. Just the sounds of four footsteps along the ground, shuffling towards a destination only known by one. 

His feelings came back in full force and he had to put everything he could into not acknowledging them. They weren’t out of danger yet. He could deal with feelings later, he was an agent for God’s sake. 

Well, he used to be one. 

He steeled his walk and picked up the pace a little, forcing the kids to shuffle faster. Perry hadn’t even realized how fast he was going until he heard a thump and a gasp. Upon looking over, Phineas had fallen. He didn’t get up immediately. Perry reached over and scooped up the boy into his arms, grabbing Candace’s hand again and walking at a slower pace this time. Phineas began to nod off in his arms, Perry had to tap his leg to keep him from falling unconscious. He didn’t know if the boys had injuries, but he didn’t want to take any chances. 

Finally, in the distance, came the tall round-top purple building he knew so well. Perry heard the jingle in his head as he led the kids up to the scantily-lit parking lot and opened the back entrance he often used to avoid onlookers, ushering them inside and shutting the door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good at summaries but if you spy any typos, please lmk, I type this up in google docs to edit and stuff and just copy paste it here


	3. Uncle Perry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some classic TLC, Doofenshmirtz style. (TW: blood and mentions of gore)

The ride up the elevator was just as silent as the walk here. Phineas slipped in and out of sleep, Ferb was wobbling at Perry’s left, seemingly about to pass out here, too. Candace was the only one slightly awake and her eyes were glazing over. Shock was setting in. 

Perry was starting to feel the pain of his injuries again now that the adrenaline was wearing off. His leg throbbed and his hand burned where it was clenched around Phineas’s waist. He could deal with that once they got inside, though. He could get the kids into some semblance of a bed and take care of himself. Then decide on their next course of action. They couldn’t stay here forever and put the occupants in danger, after all. OWCA would probably come looking here for them eventually. They didn’t deserve this. 

As he knocked on the door due to having left the key in his nightstand, he contemplated just leaving. But where would they go? He at least needed medical attention. What about the kids? Were they injured? Had they gotten injured because of him? What if they had? What if-

“What are people even doing out at this hour, don’t you know it’s 6 in the morning? I swear, if you’re just here to sell me something I’m not buying.” The familiar German accent sounded from inside the apartment, laced with annoyance. One Dr. Doofenshmirtz opened the door - and widened his eyes. It was obvious Heinz had not slept tonight, his dark circles were darker than usual and he had new bags under his eyes. “Um. Hi. Can I help you? Um, you know you’re kind of bleeding? Like, a lot? Cute kids, by the way. I imagine you might be here for Mrs. Schmidt below me, if you were looking for her-”

 _Heinz_. The doctor again widened his eyes. “Oh, uh, I guess you were here for me then? I’m sorry, I don’t make house calls and I’m kinda busy at the moment-”

 _Heinz. Please. It’s Perry. Platypus. We need help._ He made the namesign that he had come up with for Heinz, the sign for invention with the letter H instead of a flat palm. Upon making his own namesign, something seemed to click with Heinz. Damn this man’s poor facial recognition ability. Heinz was still unsure, so Perry whipped out the ripped hat from his shirt and placed it on his head.

Immediately, Heinz understood. “P-uh. Perry? Perry the Platypus? I can hardly recognize you without the hat. Why are you here, you haven’t shown up in three weeks and then suddenly you’re on my doorstep with children bleeding. Why are you bleeding? What’s happened? Should I call somebody-” 

_Heinz, please. We need help. Can we come in?_ Perry’s mask was slipping, he could tell from Doofenshmirtz's reaction. The scientist had likely never seen Perry look so emotional and jeez, Perry hated it. The poor awkward man in the doorway looked like he was seeing something humans were never meant to see (and it wouldn’t if Perry had full control of everything. But he didn’t. So, it is what it is). There was a long pause as the doctor looked them all over. They absolutely had to look awful, between the boys half-asleep, Candace in a permanently affixed state of fear, and Perry himself still dripping blood all over the carpet. Nodding, the doctor opened the door wider and allowed the four inside. Perry ushered them all into the apartment, moving into the kitchen and setting Phineas at the table. The other two followed and stood like zombies, wobbling and trying not to fall as he checked over the red-headed boy. A couple scratches and a bruise on his cheek from hitting the ground but other than that, just tired. And, of course, in shock, as Perry could tell by his dilated pupils and clammy hands. He moved to Ferb next, silently looking him over and checking for injuries. He had a scraped knee but that was all Perry could find. Candace had a bruised wrist from hitting the ground over the fence awkwardly, but that was it. 

Perry could sense Heinz nervously standing at the door as he examined the kids. _Go put on some different clothes,_ he told them. _We’re safe here._ The command took a second to register, but when it did Candace spoke. “Uncle Perry,” Doof spluttered at that, “who were those guys? Why were they shooting at us? Why were they outside our house? What did they mean by wanting to ‘take us’? And they called you an agent? What kind of agent? Why the hat? What-” Perry waved his hand. _I’ll explain everything in the morning, I promise. Let’s all just get some rest._

“ _U_ _ncle Perry_ ? Perry the Platypus, you never told me you had kids at home. Heck, the girl is about Vanessa’s age! I mean, I know you were kind of sworn to an oath of secrecy because of OWCA but-” Perry snapped his fingers sharply. _I’ll explain in the morning. Tonight’s been exhausting. Kids, go put on something clean. I’ll set up a pallet for me to sleep on the floor and Doof, can they sleep on the couch?_

Heinz crossed his arms, a little hurt. “We have guest rooms. If you boys don’t mind sharing a bed, you can. The girl can take the other room bed. You can sleep on my bed, Perry the Platypus. I already won’t sleep. You know this.” Suddenly, Doof ignited. “Wait, you’re covered in blood! Perry the Platypus, what happened to you? You said you were shot at? Who-” 

Perry was starting to get a little annoyed. _Heinz. I’ll be fine. I want to make sure the kids are safe and fine. I can treat myself. I know where the first-aid kits are. I can clean myself up._ He gestured to the kids again and herded them down the hall to the respective rooms so they could get ready for bed. When he returned, he found Heinz already at the table with the kit. _Heinz-_

“No, Perry the Platypus, I am helping you. I have no idea what happened but you look like you were just caught in a fire. Get over here.”

Too tired to argue, Perry felt his feet carry him toward the doctor. Heinz started with the hand wound, removing the bullet that was still embedded and disinfecting the wound generously. He fell silent as he rubbed the wound down with hydrogen peroxide, leaving Perry time to think. He has to tell the kids tomorrow. Oh, God, what if they hate him? What if they no longer wanted anything to do with him, he was only a distant relation and a trip through foster care would not have been nearly this painful for them. His mind kept flashing back to their terrified faces as he pulled them all off the bike and threw them over a 6-foot wooden fence. They had all been pale, their eyes wide and terrified. Phineas had recoiled from them after he had thrown Candace over, as if he was worried Perry were going to hurt him. What would they think? He remembered what had happened with that mishap in the other dimension when Phineas had found out - he’d been angry. Even Ferb was, though he didn’t show it as outwardly. The boy wouldn’t make eye contact with the agent, wouldn’t sign in his line of sight, wouldn’t look at what he himself was signing. And he had deserved it. 

Why did he have to trust so hard? OWCA had just betrayed him. Perry had always worked so carefully to keep himself distanced from friends and family lest one half of his life fall out of line and ruin everything. After the dimensional mishap, he had been so careful. Nobody would have suspected Perry Fletcher of having a single secret, not to mention a whole double-life. 

Then the accident had happened, and suddenly the kids had no other family. Grandparents had passed on, cousins no longer kept in contact. I was just him and the kids. OWCA had given him time, things could have ended better than this! If only he’d just had some more time to figure things out!

“Stop shaking. It’s hard to sew you up when you’re shaking like a dog.” Perry was broken from his thoughts by his nemesis. He went on, “I know tomorrow is going to be hectic but it can’t be worse than today, right? You won’t be getting shot tomorrow and I’ll make sure the kids are fed alright. I would ask you questions about them but I’m currently holding your hand down to sew and I know that’d make it harder to speak.” He continued chatting as Perry worried further. He was lost in thought, ignoring the drone of the scientist’s voice and not even noticing the sutures going into his leg. Perry was about to start shaking again when he heard Doof exclaim, “Holy _Dummkopf_ ! You were in an explosion, weren’t you?” _How can you tell?_ Perry signed, slightly wincing at the pulling of the sutures in his bandaged hand. 

“Lie down on the table. Face down. I don’t have any anesthetic for this but you haven’t done anything so far so either you’re just made of rubber and have no nerves anymore or your pain tolerance is insane. What’s your secret? I’d really like to know, is this why you’ve been able to beat me all these years? Oh, before you lay down, take off your shirt. It’ll only get in the way. Um, here, I guess I should, uh,” he faltered and Perry felt hesitant hands reach at the hem of his shirt, “help you with that so you don’t make it worse. Yeah, slowly, like that. Oh, that's such a cute tattoo, Perry the Platypus! Alright, and we’re good and, yes now lay down.”

As the shirt was lifted, he could feel the stickiness of drying blood holding the shirt to his back and the sting of cuts and holes. He laid down as instructed and he could feel Doof with the tweezers pulling stuff out of his back. Perry couldn’t sign from his current position so he simply waited. He felt the scientist’s shaky hands pulling shrapnel from his back, mainly in his upper back. That part of him must have still been above the fence line when the bike exploded. That, and his well-placed hat protected his kidneys.

The worst pain was when a particularly large chunk of something was pulled out of his shoulder blade. Perry sucked in a breath in order to keep the noises in. Doof hesitated before reaching for the next one, chatting all the while. He was nervous. 

Eventually, Doof said, “alright it’s all out… Here comes the antiseptic. It’ll sting a bit… so uh, I guess here we go.” Perry felt the liquid get dumped all over his back, the sudden burning causing him to tense and hiss. This somehow hurt worse than getting whatever was in his back out. “I’ll give it a minute or two and then I’m bandaging you up. Here, sit up. I’m gonna dab you with a towel to get off the excess. Perfect, now I have the gauze. Hold it here and… alright, now we wind it.” He mumbled through his whole process, which Perry didn’t mind at all. It kept him distracted. The agent couldn’t help but notice the chunks of metal and wood that were covered in blood and bits of skin on the towel beside him. There was an awful lot there. How much shrapnel had just decided to bury itself in his flesh rather than hit the brick like the rest of it? 

“Do you want to wash off a bit? You can’t get your leg, your back, your hand… on second thought, you really can’t get much of anything wet. There’s a package of wet wipes under the bathroom sink if you want to clean off most of the dried blood.” Perry nodded and thanked him before setting off for the bathroom. 

A good look in the mirror told him all he needed to know. He had a bruise and several scrapes along his face, likely from squeezing into that crack in the wall. His eyes were sunken and dark from lack of sleep. His hair was matted and bloodstains licked the nape of his neck. His chest was covered in red, it was curling around his legs and left arm above the bullet wound. The chest tattoo he had of a platypus (where he had gotten his codename from) was half-covered by the thick layer of bandages that Doof had applied to him. He looked like he’d been through crossfire, and well? He supposed he had. But nobody else was seriously hurt. 

Once cleaned, he came back to find Doof was finishing cleaning up the kitchen. He started to ask the scientist if he could check the back of his neck to ensure he got most of the stuff off when he began to feel very lightheaded. He shouldn’t be standing. Perry tried moving to a chair but it seemed impossibly far away. Doof said something, but he couldn’t hear it through the cotton that someone had stuffed in his ears. Where had that come from? _It’s probably the blood loss_ , he thought, as he heard Doof shout something far away and he felt gravity pulling hard at his body as it all went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might go back and edit the first two chapters later. Lots of domestic stuff coming up soon but I might add in some more action-y stuff later!


	4. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream stuffs. Didn't know where else to put this so we have a very short chapter here

There was pain. Lots of it, everywhere. In his leg, his arm, his back, oh God his  _ back _ . It was on fire, everything was burning. Where was he? Glass shards flew at his face, he was alone. Where were the boys? Where was Candace? He tried snapping his fingers but nothing happened. He looked down and saw nothing in the black. He tried calling out, but unsurprisingly his throat closed up. 

He couldn’t breathe. Where were the kids? Were they injured? Are they okay? 

Perry slipped again…


	5. Uncle Perry!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry's backstory? Doof is practically dancing! (TW: murder, trauma)

“Perry! Perry the Platypus, wake up! Oh, how do I do this? I haven’t done this since Vanessa was young. Perry? Perry! I saw that, wake up!” 

_Please stop, my head… it hurts… Why does it hurt?_ Perry forced his eyes open to see the face of one Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz looming about a foot above his own. “Oh _danke Gott_ , you’re awake. Perry, come on, stay up. Stay here for a bit.” Perry noticed the faces of Phineas and Ferb behind Doof, gazing at him with worry. Why were the lights so bright? Candace stepped out from behind Doof. “Uncle Perry? It's been a whole day. Please wake up.” Perry gave a weak smile and grunted at Doof before motioning for him to get back. The former agent braced himself on the couch cushion, attempting to push up - and getting stabbing pains in his shoulder blades. He hissed, falling back onto the couch, which made him hiss louder. The kids rushed over, helping him up. The room started to spin and his stomach churned. Perry closed his eyes and the feeling passed after a few moments. 

“Uncle Perry, what happened? Me and Ferb woke up and you were on the couch and the Doctor said you’d fallen and hit your head… Why are you all covered in bandages? What happened last night?” Phineas’s questions tumbled after him one after another. He was okay. 

_Heinz? What…_ Perry weakly signed as he came to. Or, at least, he tried to sign, but his left hand was practically unusable and for some reason his right wasn’t doing what his brain told it to. 

“Last night, you collapsed as you were on your way back from cleaning yourself up. You hit your head pretty hard and you were barely breathing. You stabilized for a while but about 10 minutes ago we noticed your snoring stopped. Your breathing got very faint again and your heart rate almost stopped. I don’t know exactly why but I’m guessing the stress and blood loss.” 

Candace looked like she was about to faint. She started to wobble, causing Perry to automatically reach his hand out to steady her. His bad hand. Oh, that hurt a lot. The boys helped her to the couch, though they didn’t look much better. Phin, although better than yesterday, still definitely looked like he needed some rest. Ferb seemed the most okay of the three but Perry knew it was just because he was the most expressionless of them. He kept his emotions behind his eyes, similar to Perry. It wasn’t often to see them clearly imprinted on his face. He had circles under his eyes, which held worry in them. Perry was unsure exactly who it was for at this point. 

The teal-haired uncle waved his hand in Candace’s field of vision to get her attention. _I’m okay. I’m still here._ Her eyes watered as she looked at him and nodded. A glance at Phin yielded more unshed tears. 

Perry grabbed his kids and hugged them all close. Doof made a move to scold him for moving too quickly with his injuries but stopped when he saw Perry’s intent. He held the three close, they hugged him back. They had no idea what was hurt so they avoided squeezing too hard. He didn’t care, he had enough hugs for all of them. All four of them sat like that for a long time before eventually Perry pulled away. The kids all had tear tracks shining along their cheeks. _I’m so sorry… this is all my fault. I should have known they’d try this._ He found himself just signing _I’m sorry_ over and over again until Doof interrupted. 

“We can continue this in a moment, Perry the Platypus, are you feeling nauseous at all? Headache? Light sensitivity? You can’t seem to sign very well.” Perry nodded, his head pounding as he did so. “I think your fall gave you a concussion. I demand you drink and eat something and I will not take no for an answer. I made breakfast in the kitchen but I’ll bring some in here. I have toast and eggs. Wait here for a second. No, I will not bring you coffee until you’ve had some water,” he answered immediately before Perry even asked. “However, if I deem that you’ve drank enough then I might consider it. With 2 sugars and some cream. I have your favorite in the fridge still from last time you were over, it shouldn’t have expired yet. It was a newer bottle.” He busied himself with prattling about the inconvenience of how quickly dairy products expired as he walked to the kitchen. 

Candace looked slowly back and forth between where Doof had gone and Perry. “Why does he have your favorite coffee creamer here? And how do you know this guy?” Even the boys seemed a bit wary. 

“Yeah, Uncle Perry, this all seems kinda weird… It wasn’t just a coincidence that this happened, was it? What’s really going on?” Phineas was getting too smart for his own good. Perry sighed as Doof walked back in the room with a bottle of water, a plate, and a mug of coffee. He also handed Perry two pills. Painkillers.

“I’m withholding this until you drink that whole bottle. You lost a lot of blood and caffeine won’t bring that back. I may not be that kind of doctor, but you’re lucky I have some medical training from our years of-”

“Sorry to interrupt but… how do you know Uncle Perry? Why are we here? When can we… can we ever go home?” Phineas kept his eyes trained on Perry the whole time, making him want to wilt under the child’s gaze. He hated this so much. Doof looked at him too, asking silently (for once). Perry sighed, taking a bite of his toast. Only moderately burned, which was pretty good by Doof’s standards. “And not to be rude but… who are you?” Phineas asked Doof. 

“Well, I’m still unclear on the details of last night but I can tell you that me and your uncle are neme-... colleagues. Yeah, we work together. Daily. Usually we try to stop each other from doing stuff, namely he tries to stop me from doing… uh… not entirely… noble stuff and, uh, you see, me and him, we have known each other for years, and uh-” Perry snapped his fingers once, putting down his half-eaten toast and taking a sip of the water. All attention turned to him. _Heinz, it's over. No need to lie anymore… but I think I should tell all of it._ His coordination was returning but he still had to sign slowly to make sure his hands could catch up with his head. Damn it, this concussion was making things even worse.

Doofenshmirtz’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. “D- Does this mean that I finally get to hear a Perry the Platypus backstory?!” Perry couldn’t help but grinning slightly as how excited his nemesis got, nodding and chuckling silently. “Oh my _Gott_ , I never thought I would actually get to, I mean you’re always so quiet and I don’t mean that because you don’t talk but you never say any details about your life or family. I’ve been wondering forever but I know OWCA’s policy on that so I never asked and-” Perry churred deep in his throat, making an excited Heinz immediately shut up. Ferb’s expression to this whole thing was unreadable, Phineas seemed confused, Candace seemed on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

So, about what is to be expected.

Perry sighed again and flexed his fingers, wondering where to begin. Everyone had settled into a half-circle around him, making him feel like he was telling a story to a kindergarten class. If only it could be that lighthearted. 

_Alright. So… I had a brother._ It wrenched his entire being to have to sign that in the past tense. _He was the kids’ father. His name was…_ Perry hesitated before spelling out the name, _Lawrence. We lived together with our parents. I was the younger one and he always teased me for being too talkative back then. One night, when he was 9 and I was 6, he went to a friend’s house that night for a birthday party and I didn’t. I stayed home with Mom and Dad._ He paused, getting his bearings. He knew he was explaining this horribly, but he didn’t know how much detail he wanted to give. _We got robbed. There were three of them. They used me as a hostage to get our parents to not call the police. They…_ pausing again, he squeezed his eyes shut. God, he still remembered the screaming of his own mother. _She tried to get to me and he shot her. I watched and I screamed. I screamed until the guy holding me clamped his hand over my mouth and started choking me. Then my dad tried to get to Mom and he got stabbed. He took his last breaths crawling across the carpet, trying to get to her… calling to her…_ the flashback was coming on but he forced it down. Not now. 

_The guys said that if I ever breathed another word to anyone, they’d find me and kill me. And anyone else I was close to. They took everything they could and left. I sat alone at home for two days, watching their corpses rot until Lawrence’s friend’s mom came over to drop him off. She hadn’t heard anything and was annoyed and worried. She came inside and saw. She tried to pull me away but I just sat there, staring. I don’t think I ate at all during the time alone._

_I couldn’t seem to talk. Every time I got close, I could hear the guy’s voice in my head. Taunting me. Threatening me. I closed myself off to Lawrence, because if he didn’t love me then he wasn’t in danger._

_OWCA heard about me. How I was shut down at 7, completely broken with no family. I didn’t even cry. The perfect soldier. A representative came in and asked me if I would like to learn how to defend myself… get revenge on those guys. I immediately said yes. They took me away from Lawrence and I spent 11 years training on how to be a soldier. Eventually, I was made a spy, then an agent. I was the top of the class, showed no emotion. I was perfect for them._

The kids all looked horrified. Even Doof’s eyes were wide as saucers, his mouth permanently stuck at half-open. Perry paused for a moment and looked around before continuing. Better to just get all this over with. His hands were shaking.

_They sent me all over the world to solve other people’s problems. Terrorists, intel, all kinds of cases. I never questioned, I was never taught to question. I was obedient in the hopes that someday I could find the killers. Eventually, I did ask a question. When could I find them?_

_I was laughed at. Told they were disposed of years ago and they were minor threats. A gang. I broke down so horribly they had to restrain me and they said the screaming was like a wild animal…_ he shivered, remembering the sounds as they had ripped out of him. He really should not be saying this in front of the kids, but he couldn’t stop. He had never told everything to anyone, not even Lawrence. He hadn’t needed to know. _It was the first noise I’d made since the murder. After I calmed down, they deemed me too much of a threat and demoted me to become an archnemesis to some evildoer in a town, something slow. Somewhere I could be watched and easily restrained if needed. I ended up here in Danville. At first I was assigned to a different enemy until he made some joke about murdering some poor kid’s family because they couldn’t teach their kid to shut up in a restaurant he went to… I snapped. I almost… I almost…_ He stopped signing and looked down at his feet. Doof was staring at him oddly. He probably knew the villain. _I ran into Lawrence again. He had just remarried and had 3 children now, a blood child and 2 stepkids. I saw him at a bar the night of his stag party. I recognized him instantly, especially with his accent. He saw me staring at him. When he saw my hair, he knew exactly who I was._

He could remember the exact moment he’d seen Lawrence for the first time in 20 years. Perry had nearly killed someone that day and decided to go to a bar to get a drink. Just one or two to stop the screaming in his head, nothing much. Then he’d go home to his apartment and sleep til tomorrow morning when he had to show up for work. The bar he’d gone to wasn’t the nicest in town, but they also weren’t the dingiest. Drinks were reasonably priced and it was full, he was more likely to blend into the crowd if need be. 

There just so happened to be a party going on across the room from him. He sat alone at the bar while he could hear the guys getting rowdy. They were talking and joking about marriage and how this was the host’s last night of “freedom” so he should enjoy it. And that’s when he heard it. 

“Well, I’d say she’s a right lovely lady. I think I’m going to enjoy myself in her company as well, as I have the past couple years. Well, boys, who wants another pint?” 

Perry had whipped around in his seat to hear where that accent had come from. It wasn’t common in these parts. There. Long face, brunette hair, glasses. British accent. Could it actually be Lawrence? He remembered his new boss, Monogram, had mentioned something about a familiar face here in town. Was this what he’d meant? Had OWCA seriously just assigned him to the same town as his brother? Why? So he could make friends again, or was it just an oversight? This could not be happening, that was not Lawrence. Not every brunette Brit with glasses was Lawrence, after all. 

He must have been staring a bit too long because then Lawrence noticed him looking. Lawrence had stopped smiling immediately and had knitted his dark brows together. He said something to the men beside him and they let him out of the booth. He’d walked over cautiously, walking over beside Perry. The bartender took his order for another round of drinks. Then he turned to Perry, perplexed. “Sorry to bother you, good sir, but I must say you remind me of someone. Tell me, is that hair color natural?” Perry nodded. “Why, this is very out of my range to do so but is your name Peregrine? Peregrine Fletcher?” Perry widened his eyes. This _was_ Lawrence. No fucking way. Perry gave a small nod. He signed, _Lawrence?_

His brother had looked confused. “Is- was that sign language? I’m sorry to say, I don’t understand it. Ah, what are you reaching for?” Perry reached into his pocket and pulled out a black ballpoint and reached over for a napkin. “This is probably foolish of me because it’s been so long. My name is Lawrence Fletcher. You wouldn't happen to-” Perry took the pen and began furiously scribbling on the napkin. _You’re my brother. Of course I remember._

Lawrence took off his glasses, cleaned them, and set them back on before reading it again. And again. His eyes were distinctly reminiscent of dinner plates. “Perry? How… How did you get here? After the chaps over there leave, we have got to catch up. This is completely unprecedented but wonderful! Please, I would love to talk to you again. This is downright crazy!” Perry smiled and nodded, indicating that he, too, would like to talk again. OWCA had to be behind this, right? How else would he have been assigned the exact same city as Lawrence? What was their plan? _I’ll stay here until they leave, I don’t have many plans tomorrow._

“Perfect! Well, I’d better get back to them but we should be over soon! They have work in the morning. I own my own shop now so I needn’t worry about that!” Perry suddenly found himself in a hug. He had not been hugged in a very long time, and was caught by complete surprise. He hesitated a moment before returning the gesture. If he was going to be talking to Lawrence again, he should get used to this. 

“I’ll see you shortly, old chap! This is an exciting evening if I do say!” And with that, he took the produced beverages and carried them over to his table. Perry watched for a moment as Lawrence returned and his friends cheered for drinks, he seemed happy. The agent quirked up one side of his mouth and turned back around, typing into his new OWCA-issued communicator watch. Maybe being demoted would be a good thing.

“Wait… your hair is natural? Teal is a natural color?” Doofenshmirtz’s words cut through the thick silence suddenly, making everyone jump. “I always just assumed you dyed it religiously.”

Perry shook his head. _Ferb there is a full-blooded Fletcher, that hair is natural. It’s common in the bloodline to have neon hair. It was weird that Lawrence didn’t, he was always a brunette._ Now was for the last part. He could do this. 

_After his buddies left, he came around and talked to me. He didn’t speak sign so I wrote notes on a napkin. Basically told him I’d gone to a special school for disturbed kids and travelled for work before getting moved to Danville. He said he’d been in a foster home and ended up with caring parents… he said he forgave me for shutting him out, I hadn’t meant it…_ Oh hell no, Perry was not going to cry over this. He shoved the pricking in his eyes far away and continued on. _He asked me where I was living and I mentioned I was in a one bedroom apartment, he offered for me to live with the family if Linda was okay with it. I said I’d think about it._

_Once I met the kids, I knew I wasn’t leaving. Candace was about 7, the boys were both about 2. I fell in love immediately. I moved into the attic later that year and got all the paperwork filled out with OWCA. They let me stay as long as nobody found out about my job. I said okay. They assigned me to you, Heinz, a few weeks later. Everything was fine… until recently._

The mood in the room immediately changed. The kids knew what was coming and looked away. Doof, oblivious as he was, kept watching Perry’s hands. _Lawrence and Linda… they got hit. By a drunk driver. Neither made it._ Perry sucked in a breath. _I got full custody of the kids. All other family were deceased. OWCA didn’t like that, they said I had to choose. Either put them in a foster home willingly or by force. Then they decided that… they wanted to turn them into agents._ All three of their eyes widened, realizing just what he meant. Phineas went to say something, most likely to ask why he wouldn’t allow it, when Perry cut him off. _I won’t let that happen. Never. So last night, when I saw the OWCA agent outside the house, I took the kids and ran. Agent E had mercy and only shot me in the leg and hand and helped us escape when Monogram was gone. And now we’re here._

Perry ended the story suddenly, wanting to be done. He snatched the coffee from a distracted Heinz and chugged half the mug at once. It was getting cold. 

“So, who exactly is this guy?” Phineas asked again. 

“Uh. I’m technically an evil scientist. I make inators to try to do bad things and Perry the Platypus usually swings in, destroys it, we punch each other a few times, and then he leaves. It’s kind of our thing.” Perry added in, _We never really hurt each other after the first month or so. He might be evil but he’s not a bad guy. I trust him, I’d never bring you here if I thought he’d hurt you,_ he quickly fired off at the suspicious glare in Ferb’s eyes. “Oh _Gott_ , no I wouldn’t hurt _children_. I have standards. I’m evil, not heartless. I have a daughter of my own and if anything happened to her… well, I understand.”

Phineas stood, “I… I need some time to process this. I’ll be in the back room. I’ll be back later.” He all but ran from the room. Ferb and Candace followed suit, not saying anything but glancing back at the two men as they left. 

Once alone, Heinz looked over at Perry for a moment. “Perry the Platypus I… I had no idea. I know I had quite a few backstories but wow that is… wow.” He paused and looked over at Perry. “So that’s why you never speak. I assumed it was a vocal cord issue but I never wanted to ask and seem insensitive and- Perry the Platypus, are you alright?” Perry had doubled over to stop Heinz from seeing his face. Without looking up, he signed _They hate me, Heinz. I made the wrong decision. I fucked up. It hasn't even been a month. Lawrence… he’s probably so upset with me. I’m screwing up his kids._

Heinz placed a hand gently on Perry’s shoulder. “I don’t think they hate you, it’s just a lot to process. You didn’t exactly ask OWCA to come after you and shoot you. Though if I might ask… why don’t you want them to become agents? You know my reasoning against it but-”

_They’ll break them, Heinz. Those boys are the most creative and inventive kids I’ve ever seen. They build things that rival yours, and they’re only 9. And Candace is so smart and talented and caring… they wouldn’t come out of it the same. They’d be like me. Cold. Unfeeling. Distant. They’d be trained to kill, forced even to do that. I can’t do that to them. I can’t let them end up like me._

Little did the men know, there were three sets of eyes peeking from behind the door frame in the hall, listening in and watching the whole conversation from behind the wall separating the living room and the hallway. They needed to know what he was keeping from them further - this all had to be some elaborate prank, right? There was no way their Uncle Perry - the laid-back, chill, fun, smiley Uncle Perry, the accountant - was a spy. An agent. Anything like that. Any minute now, the doctor and their uncle would start laughing together! Haha, kids are so gullible! 

_And what’s more - they’d erase their memories. Completely wipe everything about me from them. Their friends, everything except what OWCA wants them to know. They’d make them a backstory, something convenient. Then I’d be taken up to the prison and given the death sentence. And the kids would be left alone with no idea about who they are. The only reason I remember is because I was convenient already. And even then, I might not remember correctly._

He paused for a minute. Two minutes passed. Three. Doofenshmirtz took the empty coffee cup and the half-eaten breakfast back to the kitchen. The children were about to leave when they heard something completely alien.

A strangled cry. A sob, from a throat that hasn’t been used in several years. Perry hunched over on the couch, burying his face in his knees. He was _crying._ Phineas, Ferb, and Candace all looked at each other. Never once had they ever seen Perry _cry_. They’d seen him sad, sure. Mad, even. But he’d never once lost his temper with them. He was always calm and easygoing. Never had he come close to crying, except at their parent’s funeral. Even then, there had simply been unshed tears in his eyes that hadn’t fallen. Crying was something different for them. 

Apparently Doofenshmirtz hadn’t either because he stopped dead in his tracks on his way back from the kitchen. The doctor’s mouth hung open as he took in the scene before him - the agent that had been beating him up and ruining his plans for years is bloodied, bruised, and crying on his couch. He walked over slowly so as not to scare the agent. “Perry… Perry is there anything I can do?” 

No answer. 

“Have… could I maybe give you a hug? That works with Vanessa.” A moment, then a nod. Doofenshmirtz walked over and gingerly laid his arm across the back of the agent and held him while he cried. He openly sobbed for the first time in years, right into his nemesis’s sweater. His eyes burned and his throat kept trying to close up on him, as it did anytime he made sounds. Perry had always hated crying, ever since the murder. Crying never solved anything and was a waste of energy, OWCA had taught him. But he couldn’t stop suddenly. The tears kept coming in droves, his hiccups becoming more irregular and louder. His voice sounded awful from disuse, like he was gargling sandpaper. Doof was trying to get him to steady his breathing but it just wouldn’t happen. Panic was rising in him as he realized the situation he was in couldn’t just be _fixed._ He;d majorly fucked up. Even the kids hated him now, Doof was going to ask that they leave when he was finished. He was absolutely disgusted with himself for breaking down like this. He’d kept himself together for so long, only to lose his composure now. He blamed the stupid concussion. Why couldn’t he have just sat down instead of falling? Why couldn’t he just be normal? His training was telling him he was having a panic attack and that he needed to calm down but that somehow just made it worse. It wouldn’t go away, he was shaking. He was thinking too hard again. Normally, it was easy for him to blow off steam but he was around the kids and Heinz. He couldn’t just sneak out and punch a brick wall like usual. He was injured and there was nothing he could do except wallow in his own self-hatred. 

Phineas walked over first, sitting on his uncle’s other side and wrapping his arms around his waist, making him jump at the sudden contact. “We don’t hate you, Uncle Perry. We’re just scared. We didn’t know… even Dad never mentioned anything…” Perry found two more sets of arms around him as he tried to stop crying. He had never cried in front of any of these people before, they weren’t supposed to see this side of him. An agent doesn’t cry. That’s what he had been taught in school. 

But he couldn’t stop. The anger dissipated as quickly as it had arrived but he still couldn't stop crying. Everything was gone, everything except his kids and his nemesis. All their lives were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved coming up with a backstory for Perry, even if the whole "childhood trauma makes him go mute and become an agent" trope is overused in fanfiction. More with the kids in the next chapter and a surprise appearance from a certain scientist's daughter!


	6. Makes Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter about how they are settling in. They might be here for the long haul. Unless Perry gets his way, that is.

“Perry, I am not going to make you leave! I’d actually prefer you stay here! I can just have Vanessa stay at her mom’s if you’re worried about it, but I don’t think OWCA will do anything against her. Yes, I understand that but at least I can keep an eye on you all here and you all have somewhere to sleep. You have three kids in tow, I know  _ you _ were trained in the worst of conditions but they need some sort of stability.”

Perry shook his head. He was putting Heinz in danger by staying here, why was he so stubborn? But he did have a point. Ever since they had come three days ago, the kids had been trying to settle in. The boys took an immediate liking to Doof, what with him being a scientist. They were tinkering with some metal parts and wires on the floor, talking quietly but obviously listening in to the conversation. At least, Doof’s half. Candace, meanwhile, was still suspicious. She was currently watching the boys and trying not to make it too obvious she was watching them talk. 

_ Heinz, I don’t want to put you in danger. I still want the kids to have a normal life and I don’t think that’s achievable in Danville- _

“Perry the Pla- Perry, please. Where are you going to get a job that will support all four of you? Stay here, at least for a little while. Your leg isn’t even healed yet and your left hand is nearly unusable. You have a concussion. The kids seem okay from what I can tell. It’s fun having more people around, really.” He blushed, which brought Perry to another issue of his. Was “issue” the real word? Either way, there was something new there. Not even ‘new’ per se, as there had been something more than a simple nemesis ship or even friendship for years, they had just never acted upon it because of their circumstances. But now that Perry wasn’t a member of OWCA anymore and Doof was taking a bit of a break from evil… What was happening? After he cried a couple nights ago, something changed. Doof asked if he was alright sharing a bed with him. He took it because beggars can’t be choosers but he woke up in the middle of the night in Doof’s arms… and he liked it? It gave him a warm feeling he never expected and didn’t have nightmares that night. Doof himself was acting odd too, he noticed. He would be more hesitant, more clingy, and he blushed very often these days.

He shook his head again to clear his thoughts and stared at the wood of the table for a moment. Perry didn’t like it, but he had to do what was best for his kids. And this really did seem to be a better option than being on the run with three kids in tow. If it were just him, he would probably have left already to keep Doof out of danger but he couldn’t do that to the kids. He had already done enough. Sighing, he nodded.  _ Fine. Just until I’m healed and have a better plan.  _

Doofenshmirtz grinned a bit. “Well, with that settled, let’s see. What do you guys need? I can go shopping later for things.” He pulled out a notepad and a pen.

Candace walked in and started rummaging around the fridge. Perry snapped his fingers to get her attention,  _ Dinner soon. What do you want to eat? _ “Could we order something? Like a pizza? Pizza sounds good right now.”

Thirty minutes later, the five sat around with fresh pizza and had light conversation. Like a normal family. Phineas laughed at something Doof said and Perry realized that maybe, just maybe, they were going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, another short thing I wrote but didn't think it'd fit in with other chapters so here ya go


	7. The Visitor(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a visitor! Come see who it is!

Today is the two week anniversary of the day that the Flynn-Fletchers were forcibly chased from their home. The five sat at home, awaiting the arrival of a sixth. The boys were again playing with some spare parts of Doof’s, trying to make a machine that could telepathically make paper clips dance and sing using only some sprockets, 7 screws, and a small sheet of metal. Candace was playing a videogame on the old system Vanessa left over from her childhood. Perry sat with Doof in the kitchen, the doctor changing the bandages on the former agent’s torso. The group sat comfortably, living in a shared space. 

Heinz was definitely warming up to the kids. Candace was a lot slower to trust than the boys, especially given his ‘evil’ background. When she eventually saw that he was no threat to any of them, though, she began to let down her guard a bit. That’s still a work in progress. As for Ferb and Phineas, they, of course, immediately took after Doof like ducks to water. Perry was a little cautious at first, not wanting the boys to pick up evil intentions (he knew they would be a force to reckon with if they turned to the dark side), but Heinz promised not to work on his evil plans with the boys around and to teach them some light physics.

Perry was healing up nicely. His bandages on his back could almost be removed and his leg wound was closing up. His hand had a long way to go, still, but it had stopped actively bleeding every time it was cleaned. The stitches could come out tomorrow. Doof was chattering away about some story he picked up from his early 20s in a bar. Perry could feel every single touch of the doctor’s pale hands on his tender flesh, and he didn’t know if it was just because of the numerous injuries. Something was going down, and he wasn’t really complaining. After the kids went to bed, they would often stay up for their movie nights like they used to. Except now they would cuddle the whole time. Which was definitely new. Doof liked him sleeping in his bed at night (he says just to monitor him but his cuts and bones were healing). 

A knock at the door. 

“I’ll get it!” Doof shouted excitedly, running over like a child on Christmas morning. Perry watched, awkwardly perched on a chair with a bare chest as the scientist wrenched open the door - and stopped before slamming it shut. His face paled, spinning around to face Perry. “It’s OWCA. An agent is here.”

Perry’s breath stopped for a full ten seconds.  _ Only one agent? _

“Y-yes. Why?” Why would they send only one agent to collect them? OWCA had to know Perry was still alive. Maybe they assumed that it was just the kids on their own? Or maybe it wasn’t an agent with OWCA…

The kids sat in the main room, frozen, unsure how to proceed. Perry waved at them momentarily to assuage their concerns before coming over to the door and peeking through the peephole. 

Oh, thank God. 

_ It’s okay, Heinz, I know him. He disagrees with OWCA, too. Friend.  _ Heinz still looked uncertain, but he cracked the door. Perry backed away behind it so he couldn’t be seen, just in case. “Uh, can I help you?” 

“Yeah. I, uh, I know this is going to sound weird but like. I know he and the kids are here but I just brought some of their stuff from their house. I’m their neighbor, I’ve known those kids forever. And I worked with Perry before… all that happened. Could I step in? I’m not being watched, I promise.” Doof glanced at Perry, who nodded, before stepping aside and allowing him inside. 

The man was younger than the adults but older than Candace, probably in his mid-20s. He still had acne along his chin and some light blonde stubble on his chin. A blonde mop sat atop a pale, long head. His clothes were not his usual OWCA-given uniform but he was wearing a beat-up brown fedora. Not the OWCA fedora, Perry noted. There was no black stripe. Baggy jeans and a faded Love Handel shirt shrouded his thin, tall frame. He carried a backpack and a couple of luggages with him. 

“ _ Pinky?” _ all three kids shouted at the same time. 

Pinky waved loosely, grinning toothily. “Heya, guys. Isabella doesn’t know I’m here but if she did, I’m sure she’d say hi.” He turned, surveying the apartment. His brown eyes landed on the shirtless Perry as Doof shut the door. “Hey, man. How’re y’all doing lately? I heard about what OWCA did and dude, let me tell you, gossip is spreading like wildfire. You know how many of the agents at the office have kids too and they are  _ pissed _ , dude. Like, you’re dealing with a lot and then they try to abduct everyone and make you pick the agency? That’s fu- I mean, that’s messed up, man.” As he talked, he set the bags and luggages down on the floor and unzipped them. 

“Phineas and Ferb, this luggage is some of the stuff I remember you using the most. Ferb’s favorite toolbelt, Phineas’s crystal ball thing by your bed, some extra clothes of yours, different blueprints I found in your closet, your toy cars, your game systems…” The boys ran over and started taking the stuff from him, Ferb immediately clipping the belt to his waist and setting all the stuff in a corner so they could be moved later. 

“Aaaaand for Candace. Clothes, clothes, magazines, some used notebooks, some books, your game system, makeup, your limited edition Ducky Momo belt, some photos…” Candace looked like she might cry. She skipped over and took her clothes and her Ducky Momo belt, hugging them and rambling to them about how much she missed all her stuff. 

Before long, all but one of the luggages were completely empty. He simply handed that one to Perry. “Your stuff is in this one. I only packed one of your suits and focused mostly on the living things. There's also some old pictures of everyone in there and your second pair of glasses, contacts, and your special slippers and favorite mug.” Perry simply stared at him. He didn’t even know what to say. 

_ Thank you, Pinky. You really did not have to do this. _ Pinky waved him off. “Dude, I cannot imagine what you all had to go through. I heard a little bit from E about the chase but that’s it. Monogram clammed up and the higher ups refuse to tell anything or even say you existed. I think you struck a sensitive note with them because they never lose.” He grinned. “They had it coming for a long time. I never thought you would be the one to do it, but good on you. I think that there may even be some big revolution of something crazy because of all the agency does wrong. Pay cuts, refused vacations, and strict regulations were one thing, but actively taking away someone’s kids? That’s over the line. How long has it been since you’ve been allowed to have vacation?”

Perry held up seven fingers. “Yeah, I haven’t since last summer, and that’s one of the worst-”  _ No, not seven months. Seven years. _ “Ah, shit dude. I can take all that but if they tried to take Iz from me? I think I’d raise a little hell myself.” 

Doof’s eyes were bulging from his head. “You… you haven’t had a break in how long? Vacation? Were… were you being denied vacation for  _ seven years? _ ” Perry nodded grimly.  _ The last ‘vacation’ I had was when I was moving into the family house. They gave me a full week off.  _ “And I thought LOVEMUFFIN was the evil group. I’m guessing they don’t pay their interns and they don’t have health insurance either?”  _ They give you a vehicle and fancy hats, that should be ‘good enough’.  _ Perry rolled his eyes.

Pinky laughed. “It’s a total ripoff, dude. But I can’t leave if I want, unless I want the last 12 years of my life erased from my memory. I can only hope that maybe someday I can get out. Anyway, I’ll be off. It was nice seeing you guys,” he said, waving at the kids. They still seem mystified and excited to have their stuff back but they each said their goodbyes. The shock of another secret agent was old, apparently. Even if the agent was their neighbor and best friend’s cousin, in the case of the boys. “They still don’t seem to think that y’all are here, so I’d say you’re safe for now. Good luck doing whatever you do, man. Also, I’ve never seen you without a shirt but, like, you are ripped, my guy.” 

Perry glanced down and shrugged. He used to work out daily but not for the last couple weeks. He’d always been muscular but a slight gut was appearing on his frame.  _ Not for much longer with all this sitting around. Good seeing you too, Pinky.  _ He waved at the younger man as he walked back out the door without the luggage. 

From the hallway, the group could hear a distant “Hi!” from Pinky and a new pair of footsteps heading towards them. Doof looked outside. “VANESSA!” He practically jumped onto the goth teen, pulling her into a tight embrace. She seemed distantly surprised but was definitely expecting this. 

“Dad, it hasn’t even been that long.” She glanced around as Doof pulled the door shut and locked it behind her. “Why is Perry here? And without a shirt on? What is Candace doing here with her brothers? Is this why I had to stay at Mom’s for a few weeks?”

Perry waved and awkwardly tried to put on his shirt with only one hand - hissing as the fabric pressed painfully against his still-sore back. “Uncle Perry, here, let me help you.” Candace piped up, causing Vanessa’s eyes to widen. 

“ _ Uncle _ Perry? Perry, you never said anything about having nephews or a niece!” With his shirt finally covering the expanse of his injuries, he slyly signed,  _ Well, technically, I don’t  _ say _ anything.  _ Vanessa rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean. I’ve gone to school with Candace forever and all the kids in town know about the crazy things Phineas and Ferb get up to! Like, really, to think that we could have been talking about things like this for years, it’s crazy!”

Doof suddenly called out from the kitchen, making everyone jump. “Why don’t we sit down to talk? Boys and Candace, you don’t have to join if you don’t want to because it's gonna be the same stuff, again but no one is stopping you!” Vanessa set down her bag by the door and looked around at the small group again, eyes lingering a bit longer on Ferb. He wordlessly stared back, as usual for him. Perry began limping to the kitchen to take the seat he had abandoned a mere ten minutes before, lowering himself stiffly into the wooden chair. The kids all silently followed, each taking a seat at the table. Heinz looked around the table and began distributing coffee to himself and Perry and water to the kids. “Perry, we never did get the bandages back on you, did we? Here, I don’t want to stain your shirt, I’ll help you lift it so we can get you all wrapped up. You’re gonna need more antibiotic now to be safe.” 

As the doctor began busying himself with dressing Perry’s wounds, the room grew quiet. The light from the overhead light seemed almost like an interrogation lamp instead of the soft glow it always had been. The kids all looked awkwardly at each other and at Perry. “So… should we just start at how we got here or…?” Phineas asked. Perry nodded. He began to sign until Doof chastised him for moving too much. Before the scientist could start talking, Phineas cut in and began telling the whole story, from their parents’ deaths to how they ended up at Evil Inc. Candace chimed in and gave detail whenever she felt he missed something but overall, they did a good job. By the end of it, Vanessa looked like she was seeing ghosts. She had begun watching her father with Perry when the kids were explaining the chase and how he got shot. Her dark eyes really paid attention to his casted hand, making the agent feel jittery. He was  _ not _ used to people staring at him. Her face turned more pale and she stayed white as a sheet, her face fairly blank. Unless you were around her a lot, which Perry was, she seemed fine. Her eyes were wide, which was Vanessa’s equivalent of absolute horror. The former agent knew he looked like shit. He hadn’t been able to shower properly since the chase and he had trouble sleeping. He was still suffering from blood loss and dehydration. The mental strain was causing lines and circles under his eyes, his joints were becoming stiff from disuse. He was used to working out on the daily, not sitting around on the couch. The concussion was finally healing but it still gave him headaches and light sensitivity.

The blue-haired Brit was pulled from his thoughts suddenly. “So let me get this straight. OWCA went AWOL, decided they wanted you and your family, so they thought the best way to convince you would be to  _ shoot you and them _ and try to imprison you, so you went rogue? That’s what I’m hearing? And now all of you are in hiding?” Perry simply nodded and took a sip of his coffee with his good hand as he felt Doof finish up the bandages, tying them off snugly in the back and pulling his green cotton shirt back down. “How long until… they look here?” 

This was a question Perry had not enjoyed thinking about in the slightest. He knew the day would come but the longer they didn’t look for them here, the longer that they were safe. He knew he still wasn’t able to work to support him and his kids. If what Pinky said was true and the agents were purposefully giving them false leads, that would give them time but they would eventually look here. They had to. Doof was who he talked to the most, even if they were nemeses. If anyone were to know anything, even OWCA would have to admit it was Heinz. What kinds of things were his coworkers feeding the agency? Was that the entire reason that they hadn’t already been exposed? Or was it some other reason? Maybe luck? No, it couldn’t just be luck. It never worked out that way. 

Perry shrugged.  _ I really have no idea. We can’t stay here forever, putting you guys in danger. I still technically ‘belong’ to OWCA and by extension, so do my kids, as they were entrusted to my care. Dumb rule of theirs that is incredibly outdated but it still stands. And I know they’ll rely on that if the government says anything. Which they won’t. They never do, I don’t even know how many departments know we exist. Not enough for it to matter.  _ He sighed. Shaking his head, he took a deep swig of his coffee. Black with two sugars and cream, just how he liked it. 

“You know Perry, I’d been thinking of something for a while that might help you, if you’re willing to go through with it,” Heinz offered up. Perry whipped his head around immediately, looking the doctor in the eyes. He cocked his head and widened his eyes.  _ What is it? _ The scientist rubbed the back of his neck before continuing. “Well, you know how OWCA and LOVEMUFFIN are opposing agencies right? Essentially, OWCA is ‘good’ and LOVEMUFFIN is ‘evil’. We are an organization of villains with agents to foil us so as to not take over the world. They work together, otherwise everything would be way out of balance and it’s no fun being evil if you don’t have a nemesis to make you work for it! Anyway, because of that, it is possible to completely leave OWCA. We’ve gotten some old agents from OWCA before joining LOVEMUFFIN and they say it is completely freeing. You wouldn’t even have to do anything if you did, I could register you as my assistant. At least, I’m pretty sure I can, I’ll have to look over the books again, but I am like, 95% sure that’s an option. You would just have to fill out some paperwork, pledge your allegiance to the cause, say what you want to do, that kind of thing. I think that with your background, they would jump on the opportunity to have you. It’s up to you. Then, legally, OWCA cannot do anything to you without serious repercussions. You or your family. If they tried to imprison or kidnap you without reason, LOVEMUFFIN would be angry and retaliate. It’s all up to you but it’s just an idea.” 

Perry sat for a moment. The immediate reaction he had was  _ Oh absolutely not. Never in a million years would I ever be evil. I’d rather die. _ But on the other hand… his kids would be safe. So would he. They could stay here with Heinz and the kids wouldn’t have to give up their entire lives just because of him. They could stay in Danville and finish school. He could work outside of Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. until he raised enough money for a space for him and the kids so they wouldn’t bother Heinz all the time. Though his brain kept screaming no, he shoved it aside. It made too much sense to do. It was perfect, too perfect. But it was better than any plan he had. 

_ Yes. Heinz, I think I’ll give it a shot.  _ Perry even surprised himself when he saw his right hand moving, seemingly of its own accord, to sign his affirmative. Heinz practically hit the ceiling, he jumped up so quickly. “Oh Perry, I’ll get the stuff now! I thought you might say yes or at least maybe so I might have gone and printed the stuff beforehand and gotten it all ready to sign. It’s a lot of papers but I promise it’ll all work out! The owner never lets us villains down, namely out of fear for what we can do to him if he fails, and he could have it back within the week!” He all but ran from the room, talking to himself all the while. Perry silently chuckled to himself. 

“Uncle Perry?” Phineas asked. “Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, Doofenshmirtz may be alright but are all the others like him? What if something happens? You only just got out of one agency, is joining another right away a good thing?” 

Perry looked into his coffee for a moment, seeing the wavy reflection of his tanned skin and bright teal hair staring back at him. He shrugged.  _ No, but it’s the best choice we have. You guys can safely attend school and see your friends still and I can figure it out. Maybe save up money to move out so Doof can have his space back. _

“You know he likes having you here, right?” Vanessa piped up. Perry knitted his brows together and cocked his head again. “You don’t see it? You are around him as much as I am. He’s been eating better and he looks alive again. Before you guys were here, he was always alone unless I was here. I only come on weekends. I know he misses having kids around and knowing the things those boys have done, he’d have a ball. For as weird as he is, he is also pretty good with teenagers, especially teenage girls. Don’t rush out the door too soon.” Perry nodded slowly, drinking some more coffee and contemplating. 

When Doof returned with about three encyclopedias worth of paper, the topic had moved on to the best flavor of milkshake and why strawberry was actually superior to chocolate. The four younger people were laughing and smiling. Maybe, if Doof really liked having them around, they could stay a bit longer…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More domestic stuffs after this but eventually more action scenes. Probably. I'm writing this on a whim by now and I have no more plot planned out.


	8. Perry & Heinz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of obvious, Uncle Perry

Perry still could not quite pin down what was happening. He and Heinz were definitely different and their relationship was turning into something more. Perry had never been the most intuitive with romantic attachments and more than that, he didn’t even know if the doctor swung that way. He was divorced from Charlene for almost 15 years now and while he’d had some little dates here and there, there had been nothing steady. All of his dates had been women though. Was he even into guys?

The blue-haired agent had been on few dates in his lifetime because of the demands OWCA enforced, but he knew that he was gay. Lawrence and Linda knew, though it had just never come up with the kids. He wasn’t trying to hide it, it had just never come up. Once, he’d even gone on a date with Agent S but they had both decided that it wasn’t romantic at all. They were fine now, occasionally met by the water cooler in the office for casual hellos and how-are-yous. But nothing Perry had ever encountered made him feel like he did now. 

For all the time he’d known Doof, it was obvious that he was different but he assumed that’s because he was the former agent’s first steady nemesis. Doof was kind of different from most people (not in a bad way! But talking to him for about five minutes can show you that. Perry had known him for nearly eight years). He was quirky, anxious, awkward, kind, caring, smart, sometimes petty… Lately whenever he sees the scientist, especially if the man smiles or touches him, he feels… warm. Happy. Safe? That’s a different emotion than he’s used to but that’s the best word he can think of. He just felt so much better around Heinz. 

Perry looks across the coffee table where he’s playing  _ Clue _ with Phineas and Ferb at said individual. He wasn’t exactly much of a looker, but that had never really bothered Perry. Heinz is currently slouched over a book on the couch, reading  _ Astrophysics for Dummies _ and critiquing where it was incorrect, occasionally ranting about how  _ this is why people are stupid! Even simple books like this are giving out complete misinformation! _ while Candace and Vanessa scrolled their phones on the other end of the couch. The TV was on, the volume low, playing reruns of Doof’s favorite romcoms. 

“Uncle Perry, it’s your move.” Phineas tapped him on the shoulder, getting his attention. His teal haired head swung around to look at the bright red mop on the boy’s head, smiling apologetically and rolling the dice. After moving his character, he mindlessly drifted into his thoughts again. Was this even worth thinking about? He had started sleeping on the couch since his back had fully healed so Doof could have his bed back, but he’d noticed that at night, before he went to sleep, the doctor would look at him for a moment longer than needed. His hand once drifted up to his wrist, but lowered immediately. He’d always bid Perry a cheerful “Good night!” but the smile wouldn’t reach his eyes. 

More tapping on his shoulder brought Perry back to the present. “-Perry. Hey, you still there? You were staring at Dr. Doofenshmirtz again.” Phineas tugged on his sleeve a bit. How long had he been staring? Luckily for him, Doof’s perceptive powers were lacking so he hadn’t noticed it seems. He was currently mumbling something to himself about how he once easily manipulated the law of gravity so it shouldn’t even be a  _ law _ but a suggestion. “Uncle Perry, you’ve been watching him a lot lately. How long did you say you’ve known him?” 

Confused at where this was going, Perry furrowed his brows.  _ Eight years. Why? _

Phin lowered his voice a bit, “So hes like your best friend, right? Or did you know anyone else?” Perry thought for a moment. While he had known several of the agents longer than Heinz, Heinz was definitely the one he was exposed to the most, especially the most voluntarily. Pinky was a friend but he realized that other than Lawrence, nobody else had been as much of a friend to him as Heinz. Hell, the man had even learned a whole new language in three weeks just to understand him better. For his nemesis, not even a close friend. Perry nodded. 

“I’m happy you weren’t lonely all the time then. He seems like a good guy! And he seems to like you a lot, too. He talks about you all the time and even about the times you were super nice to him even though you’re enemies! Sorry,  _ nemeses _ , that’s the word you insist on. You wouldn’t even guess by talking to you guys, I mean he always talks about how much nicer you are than his ex-wife.” 

Ferb waved at him over the table to get his attention. He gave Perry a stern look over his cards.  _ It’s kinda obvious. He talks about you all the time, even when you aren’t around. Candace says he might think of you as more than a friend. And you haven’t ever been on dates with a girl as far as any of us can remember. _

Wait, what? His nephews were giving him relationship advice? They’re nine years old, and he is in his thirties, this was definitely a little awkward. If anything, he expected  _ Candace  _ to be telling him this because of her fixation on romantic feelings, not his nine-year-old nephews. But then again, if it was that glaringly obvious that two little boys could clearly see what was going on, then maybe it was mutual. Maybe. But maybe not. They might be some of the most intelligent kids ever, but engineering and romance are two very different things. 

_ Well, you hit the nail on the head there. I’m not into girls, really. I’m gay. Don’t worry about it too much, boys. Whose turn is it?  _ Ferb pointed at Perry, and thus the game resumed. As usual, Ferb won.

It wasn’t until later that Perry realized that someone had been eavesdropping _.  _ Doof had gone to the store to get groceries, since the paperwork for LOVEMUFFIN still had not been officialized and Perry could not step outside. He stepped out of the shower, got dressed, and was drying his hair on the way to the kitchen, trying not to stretch his shoulder blades too far and accidentally rip open a wound. He walked in and immediately wished he hadn’t. There already were Vanessa and Candace, sitting next to each other in silence, looking at him. Wow, okay. This was uncomfortable. They had obviously been talking moments before he walked in. Perry paused for a moment before walking over to the counter, throwing his towel over his shoulder and combing his fingers through his hair. He pulled down a mug and opened the extra drawer that Heinz had converted into a drawer for his extra glasses and contacts years ago. So that he wouldn’t accidentally hurt himself flying home, Heinz had said. He put in a fresh pair and opened a tea bag, still in complete silence. 

It wasn’t until he’d made his tea and had turned back around that anyone said anything. “Uncle Perry, why didn’t you tell me? I kinda knew but still?” Candace didn’t seem hurt at all, just exasperated. Like a parent scolding a child.  _ Tell you what? _ “That you like guys! I mean, I knew because I heard Mom and Dad talking about it one time and it just made sense to me but still.”  _ I’m sorry, it just never came up. I never felt the need to flaunt that kind of thing. When you wanted to know, you’d ask. Or I’d bring someone home for the holidays.  _ Perry was beginning to be annoyed by all this. First the boys, now the girls? He was a grown man, he could handle himself and his dating life just fine on his own!  _ Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to hang up my towel and drink this before it gets cold.  _

“Perry, listen, I’ve known you for years and my dad all my life. Obviously. Lately, I can tell my dad does like you. And you like him. It’s painfully obvious. I knew Dad was kinda clueless but I didn’t realize you were so oblivious too. Consider this an intervention. Dad wants you around. And your kids. He misses having people around and I can’t always be there all the time. Also, I think you’re pretty cool too. Like, I know it was your job to beat him up but you also didn’t go too hard on him and only kept it at bruises and even hung out with him so like, that’s pretty chill. He never really had someone to talk to like you before so just. Don’t mess this up.” Her dark eyes glared daggers at him and though Monogram was a force to be reckoned with when angry, Vanessa was her own brand of nerve-wracking. 

Perry nodded and sighed.  _ It was that obvious, huh? Besides, does he even like guys? _ Candace rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, yes, Uncle Perry. You’re always staring at him. Like, all the time. And he is always staring at you, especially when you aren’t looking. He mumbles to himself and we hear your name in there a lot, but most of the rest can’t really be understood. I could have been helping you find dates for years, Uncle Perry!” Oh thank God he hadn’t brought this up to Candace before, he didn’t know if he could take Candace and Linda trying to set him up. There had been enough playful jibes as it is, whether it be a new coworker or a cute waiter in a restaurant. He hadn’t minded but coming from two separate people would have been something else entirely. The thought was appreciated, she just wanted to help after all, but he would have definitely gone insane. 

“Dad’s bi. He’s never been picky about that kind of thing. I know he won’t want to talk to you directly and he’s worried about making your thing with him weird.”

The teal head shook,  _ I wouldn’t have been able to have a steady thing anyway, back then. Work was unpredictable, especially before Heinz. I went on a few really dangerous missions. I didn’t want to have someone waiting for me to come home when I never would.  _ Candace seemed to mull that over for a second. Her eyes grew dark. “Uncle Perry… how many times have you been in a situation where you could have died?” He just smiled and walked forward to pat her head.  _ A few, but it’s over now. I haven’t been on a mission like that in years and with moving to LOVEMUFFIN, I likely never will again. I’m alright.  _ He nodded at Vanessa before leaving the room. The air was getting too stuffy and he wanted to be alone for a bit right now, after that. What had he gotten himself into? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we're getting into that romantic subplot. Still a bit of a ways to go, though! I have a basic plot planned now


	9. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened that made Perry go completely mute? (tw: blood, death, gore, PTSD, threats, insanity)

_ They hadn’t anticipated for a child to be awake and sneaking downstairs to get a snack from the fridge while his parents were asleep. They’d heard him in the kitchen, silently giggling to himself as he pulled the pudding out of its place, setting it down on the counter quietly as Lawrence had taught him, so he wouldn’t wake up Mummy and Daddy. He carefully pulled a spoon from the drawer and began to dig in when he heard something from the front room. Footsteps.  _

_ Mummy and Daddy slept in their bedroom, which was connected to the kitchen by a different hall. What were they doing awake? Regardless, Perry hid behind the counter with his prize to try not to be caught. He didn’t want Daddy to be cross with him.  _

_ From his hiding place behind the counter, Perry heard more heavy footsteps join the first set. Then a third. Lawrence wasn’t home, so why are there three people? He decided to peek out from behind the counter to get a look. _

_ He saw three adults, all wearing t-shirts, baggy jeans, and black masks over their faces. One had a gun. They were standing in the living room, looking at Mummy’s vases. Why were they here? Perry gasped and hid, tub of pudding forgotten. What was he going to do? They did not look like Daddy’s friends. They looked mean. He thought that maybe, he could run into Mummy and Daddy’s room and tell them what was happening, if he could just sneak past.  _

_ When he peeked again, he didn’t see them, so he decided to run for it. As he stepped out from his hiding spot and began to run, something grabbed him from behind. A gloved hand was slapped over his mouth when he tried to scream. “Hey there, little boy. Don’t you try to tattle on us now, or you will regret it later. Just keep quiet and go back to bed like a good boy. We’ll even put away the pudding so Munny doesn’t know you were sneaking, eh?” A voice purred into his ear. He didn’t like it.  _

_ He tried to bite the hand holding him but the glove was too thick. “You’re a feisty one that’s for sure. Let’s calm you down a bit.” As the man lifted Perry off the ground, he started kicking his feet wildly. Aiming for the man’s legs, he accidentally knocked over Mummy’s mug into the sick, where it landed with a loud crash. The man froze before yanking him to the ground and slapping his head so hard he saw stars. “Look what you did now, ya little cunt! Naughty boys get beaten and you’ve been very naughty!”  _

_ Light footsteps came from the direction of his parent’s room. They could save him! He bit down hard and yanked the man’s glove off before sinking his teeth into the distracted hand holding him. He tasted blood as it pulled away suddenly and Perry screamed as loud as he could. “Mummy! Daddy!” The footsteps began pounding down the hall and suddenly there was his father, bright green hair and slippers on with his robe.  _

_ “Peregrine!” His mother immediately launched herself at his assailant, but was held back by his father. “Margaret, wait. What are you here for?” _

_ A man behind Perry spoke, “Just your valuables. Hand over everything you have and we’ll release the boy unharmed.” He heard a gun cock. Perry’s holder stood him up, wrapping the boy’s legs around his own and straining his arms behind his back. He was helpless. He tried to struggle but to no avail. “This one of yours is feisty, now. Bit me hard enough to bleed. You know what we do to little boys who misbehave, don’t we?” _

_ Perry felt a hand slap him on the temple again and he lost consciousness for a moment. He blinked his eyes sluggishly and opened them again. His mother screamed and lunged towards her son. Red blossomed from her head as a loud bang sounded, making Perry’s ears ring. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell forwards, landing at Perry’s feet. He screamed through the glove.  _

_ Perry’s father stared for a moment before running for his wife. “MARGARET! Please, God, NO!” He turned his wife’s face towards him and saw the killing blow, tears springing to his eyes. He sobbed violently as he turned his face towards the gunman. “You won’t get away with this! This isn’t over!” Faster than Perry could follow in his sluggish state, his father leaped at the man. He began punching and kicking him over and over, still screaming. Perry was screaming too. _

_ A sound of ripping flesh ended his cries quickly, with the third man standing over his father’s still-moving body, knife in hand. “Jesus, we have to leave. This was not worth it.” _

_ “We still have loot. Let’s see if there’s anything in the woman’s jewellery case.” The other two left after lifting the father off of the gunman. The third man, the one holding Perry, muttered in his ear. “Alright, boy, you listen here. If you breathe a single word of what happened here to anyone, I swear to God I will find you. You’ll be just like your Pa over there. Now, I’m gonna tie you nice and pretty to that chair over there and you’re not gonna struggle too much, yeah? Otherwise, it won’t just be you who gets it. We know you have a brother.”  _

_ Perry didn’t raise a finger as the man gagged him and tied him to the chair so he could finish the search of the house. Teartracks traced themselves down Perry’s small cheeks but he didn’t make a sound. This was all his fault. If he had just listened and been a good boy, Mummy and Daddy would still be here. All this for pudding.  _

_ A few minutes later and the men came back, taking Mummy’s favorite necklaces with them. The gunman untied the knot on Perry’s back, but he barely noticed. He couldn’t take his eyes off the mangled corpse of his father. “T, the boy could still do something!” _

_ “But he won’t, look at him. He can’t even remember how to breathe, much less get someone. Let’s clear out. We’ve done enough.” And with that, they just left and shut the door quietly, the second man grabbing the tele. The house became deathly quiet.  _

_ Perry could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He sat in the chair, not moving, still staring at his parents. His ears were ringing and he wanted to scream. He tried to cry out - but the man’s face was suddenly back in his own, saying “If you say anything, we will find you. And your brother.” His throat wouldn’t cooperate, it wouldn’t produce a sound.  _

_ He sat there in that chair, and eventually on the ground, for so long, he lost track of time. The smell of metal and death permeated the boy’s senses but he couldn’t bring himself away. He just sat there on the floor, staring. He soiled himself a few times and did not care. Mummy’s eyes were still open, he realized, and he closed them. Daddy’s were closed to begin with, but his mouth was stuck in a scream. His jaw was stuck and Perry didn’t want to hurt him, so he left it open. The blood on the floor dried and congealed, sealing Perry’s pants to it. He could never leave. He had done this. It got light outside, then dark, then light. He paid no attention to it, or his growling stomach.  _

_ He became dimly aware of a sound at the door. Knocking. Someone was knocking. Perry tried to scream again but the same reaction as before happened. That man, his voice, his threats. He couldn’t speak, no matter how he tried. A voice came from the other side of the door but Perry didn’t want anyone in. Nobody should see what he’d caused.  _

_ The knocking and yelling stopped. Eventually, another loud thudding came by a few hours later. Louder this time. He heard screaming outside the door, but he couldn’t register the meaning. A man’s voice. Was it that man again? Had he come back to check that Perry was being good? That he hadn’t told anyone?  _

_ The door continued banging and banging until it suddenly fell off the hinges. Perry didn’t even react. He was terrified, but he couldn’t do anything. Their blood was still sticking him to the floor, he could not move. He threw himself down over his mother, protecting her from what was about to happen.  _

_ “Holy shit…” Only Mummy could use words like that! A pair of footsteps came towards him and he clung tighter to his mother, squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s okay, lad. I’m with the police. I’m not gonna hurt you or your mummy.” The voice was soft and gentle, much kinder than the voice of the robbers. Perry looked up to see a police officer with short, blonde hair and blue eyes. “My name is Ethan. I’m here to help you. What’s your name?” _

_ Perry didn’t even open his mouth. He just stared at the officer, unsure what to do. Was it true? Or was this just the man without his mask on, trying to get him to talk? If he said anything, Lawrence would get hurt!  _

_ There was a scream from outside. The officer looked around and Perry saw Lawrence standing there with his friend’s mom covering his eyes. She looked horrified. She tugged his brother away from the door, telling him to wait in the car. He was saying something, asking about his mum and dad and Perry. What was happening? She said she’d explain it later but for now, he just needed to wait. She came back to the door and looked at the mess again before looking away. She was trying not to vomit or cry. “I can keep Lawrence as long as you need, officer. He was with us when whatever happened here happened.” Then she noticed little Perry still sitting there. “Perry! Perry, are you alright dear? You look positively awful.” He didn’t react. Blank eyes stared back at her and the officer, who looked between the two.  _

_ “Well, ma’am, it seems that he’s still in shock. Perry, was it? How about this, can you nod for me? Shake your head?” A moment passed. Two. Then a tiny, imperceptible nod. “That’s perfect, lad. Did this happen the night that your Lawrence went to his friend’s house?” A nod. “Alright then, you’ve been here for two days. Have you eaten anything? Or drank anything at all?” His eyes drifted to the spoiled pudding that had been sitting, untouched, on the floor mere feet away from Perry.  _

_ The boy shook his head and looked back down at his father. He shouldn’t be allowed to eat food again after this. He was the worst boy ever.  _

_ “Now then, how about we get you cleaned up and get some food in you, eh? We’ll take good care of Mummy and Daddy, don’t you worry.” The officer reached out his hand to Perry, but he didn’t take it. He then tried to begin lifting the small boy, who protested by grabbing his mother.  _

_ “Perry, dear, Mummy and Daddy want you to be fed. Let’s make them feel better, alright? They don’t want you going hungry and dirty.” Perry still hung on. He ended up having to be pried from the body, silently and tearlessly weeping. His face contorted as if to cry but no sound came. Or tears. He didn’t have any left.  _

_ Lawrence tried talking to him in the hospital. He’d been connected to a tube that dripped liquid into his wrist through a needle and the doctor said he needed to eat again. Perry couldn’t say anything, even if he’d wanted to. The police tried to get him to talk, but the most they got out of him were blinks and small shakes of the head. His dreams always greeted him with the visage of his mother’s face and screams as she was shot, his father crying out as he was stabbed. He couldn’t wake up until the man’s voice whispered to him, “I will find you.”  _

_ No family wanted him, he was labelled a ‘lost cause’. It wasn’t until the day that the man who called himself an agent came to Perry in his dormitory at the boy’s orphanage that he showed any signs of life with an offer his small mind could not refuse.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun deciding on a background for Perry. Hopefully it wasn't too over-the-top


	10. Heinz, go to bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why are these fools awake having serious conversations at 4 am

Perry shot up out of bed. 25 years after the fact and he still had that same damned dream. Maybe someday it would go away but it still was going strong. He leaned up off the couch and moved into the bathroom to relieve himself. Rest had been doing wonders for him. A month after the incident and finally, his worst wounds were little more than pink scars and fading marks. He could move more freely and his concussion was mostly healed up. His eyes were less sunken and he was able to sleep better some nights than he had before Lawrence and Linda passed. 

He vacated the bathroom in preference of the kitchen. The lights were on. At the table sat Heinz, with some blueprints spread across the wooden expanse and a pen behind his ear. His hair was more unkempt than usual, his eyes clouded as he mumbled to himself. “That’s not good enough, I need more power behind it. Maybe if I moved the electrical over here instead of behind the arm, I could fit more batteries into the circuit board and make the range a little longer. I only need it to reach Roger’s house and that isn’t too far away…” He continued on in this manner as Perry walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, startling him. “Perry the- ah, Perry, what are you doing up? It’s 4 in the morning, you should be asleep.” 

Perry cocked his head and raised his eyebrows.  _ What are you doing up? _

“Well, I had a new idea for an inator. I thought about that time that I had to be a garden gnome and I realized my previous mistake. What if, instead of stealing everyone else’s garden gnomes, I just turned Roger into a garden gnome instead! Then  _ he _ would be the one to have to sit alone at night and potentially get eaten by coyotes! And then with him being awake all night and unable to perform his mayoral duties, I can run for mayor of the Tri-State Area!” Perry grinned a little and nodded. It was so nice to hear something familiar like that. The only icing on the cake was if he could foil this plan of Heinz’s and be cursed by him once again. Oh, those were the days. “Perry, what are you smiling at? Is my plan not evil enough for you?” 

Perry shook his head, still grinning.  _ No, I just miss being your nemesis.  _

Doofenshmirtz removed the pencil from his ear. “Well, speaking of that, OWCA sent me a letter this morning saying that they’d be sending me a new one soon. Didn’t give me exact details or anything. That’s why I’m working on things again. Gotta give this agent something to do and make a good first impression. The paperwork for LOVEMUFFIN is nearly complete, just has to be notarized and sent back. Then you’re officially part of the organization. That should happen in about 3 days, I was told.” 

Perry nodded.  _ Well then, maybe you should hold out 3 more days just to make sure nothing happens. After that, I can send the kids back to school for the spring and I can find work again. I’m nearly healed up.  _

Heinz looked like he desperately wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he merely nodded and began aimlessly writing calculations on the blueprint again. “I know you really want to move out but like I said, you are welcome here. You and your family. I like having people around.” 

Here it was again, that thing Perry had been noticing. Was this what Candace and Vanessa had meant? Well, if that were the case…

Perry tapped Heinz on the shoulder again, getting his attention. Heinz looked up. There was something new in his eyes, something Perry couldn’t quite pinpoint. God, he hoped he wasn’t about to mess up.  _ You still need sleep, regardless of what’s going to happen. Would you like it if I slept in your bed with you again? You seemed to sleep alright when that was the case. The couch is fine if you’re uncomfortable with it but I’m happy to help you out.  _ He churred deep in his chest, signifying his mischief.  _ I am your assistant, after all. _

Heinz looked away for a moment, contemplating. “Well, only if you’re really okay with it. I could put this away for now if it really means you’d go back to sleep, too.” Perry nodded. “Alright then, give me just a minute to put this away and change. I’ll come get you when I’m all ready.” Heinz busied himself with his blueprints to hide his growing red face and Perry got some water and sat down to cover his own. Why was this so awkward? 

A few minutes later, Perry found himself next to a half-asleep Heinz, bundled up under the blanket. When he ensured Heinz was asleep fully, he reached out to lay a hand against the other’s side. Just a simple touch. And that’s how he fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey more romantic subplot that I am still learning how to write


	11. Major Monogram and the Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for more angst! And maybe a kidnapping! Maybe a murder! Maybe not! Guess we'll find out! (tw: blood, death, dying, guns, knives, stabbing, PTSD, trauma)

Two days passed without incident after that. Heinz was becoming a bit more touchy with Perry and Perry continued sleeping in Heinz’s bed with him. He hadn’t again brought up moving out. The kids were definitely taking notice, but they also didn’t say anything. Simply continued on with their lives. The paperwork was due to come in tomorrow and Heinz was getting ready to build his latest inator after it was all complete. They just needed to wait til tomorrow. 

That’s why when Perry awoke again in the middle of the night curled up with Heinz, he was confused. He hadn’t done that the last couple of nights and he was surprised that it happened. 

He could hear scuffling in the main room. Probably one of the kids is up getting something. As he went to go back to sleep however, there was a scream. “UNCLE PERRY!” It was Phineas. Perry bolted out of bed and down the hall, scaring the crap out of Heinz. He made sure to grab the pocket knife he kept in his bedside drawer just in case. 

The sight before him made him more angry than anything else before. There were 4 OWCA agents, and in the doorway was Monogram with an upset Carl following behind. “Peregrine, we told you last time. We will win.” One agent was restraining Phineas. Another had Ferb. The other two were standing in front of the restrained kids, holding guns pointed directly at him. Monogram stood behind them all, seemingly bored. Carl definitely did not want to be there, there was pleading in his eyes. “Now, Peregrine, you will be taken into custody and your family will be turned into helpful agents. I expect the best from them, seeing as how you were once one of the top agents in our organization. Now, either come quietly, or don’t. It’s up to you.”

Footsteps came rocketing down the hall behind him. He heard Heinz, “What’s all the commotion about?” Perry held up a hand behind him, stopping Heinz in his tracks. He didn’t want the scientist in the line of sight of the gunman.  _ Keep Candace and Vanessa away. When the boys get loose, take them all to the lab and don’t come out until it’s safe. _ “Perry… you can’t-” 

Perry silenced him. 

“Carl, he’s doing that hand thing again. What’s he saying?” 

“That’s sign language, sir.” Carl looked at Perry, dead in the eyes. “He’s telling Doofenshmirtz to go back to bed. He doesn’t need to worry about this.”

Monogram seemed satisfied with this. “Alright then. Peregrine, hands up. You’re under arrest.” 

Perry had an idea. He hesitated and slowly put his hands up, making sure his knife was out of sight. He’d need it. Heinz gasped behind him. Monogram strolled forward and began to reach for his wrists with the handcuffs when he acted. 

The agent pushed the man in the chest and dived between Monogram’s legs, effectively sliding along the carpet enough to knock over the two gun-carrying agents by the ankles, sending them toppling. He reached the two holding the boys and spun around on the floor, twisting his body so that his legs were facing them so that he could kick them hard in the knees. Hard enough to knock the kneecaps out of place and send them toppling to the floor, yelling. They released the boys in shock, and they fled to Heinz. Perry grinned to himself. Now that the boys were safe, he could focus on the baddies. 

He pushed himself off the floor in time to avoid a gunshot aimed at his head. Someone screamed as it went off, but he didn’t have time to think about it. He faced the gunman, producing his knife from his pocket and stepping away from the two fallen men. He churred. A growl, a warning. The second one pushed himself off the floor and took aim with Perry’s head as well, firing as the former agent ducked. The bullet stuck in the doorframe. He rushed the first one, on the right. He rammed his body into the man, sending him flying into the other and knocking each other over. Perry used the opportunity to kick the gun from the bottom one’s hand and shoot the dominant hand of the top, making him drop his own gun. Whipping around, he saw the gun barrel before it was too late. One of the two with dislocated knees had sat up enough to aim at Perry’s thigh, peppering one with several holes. Through the adrenaline, Perry could hardly feel it. He strode forward and flipped the gun in his hand so that the butt smacked the man in the temple, knocking him out cold. On the downswing, he did the same to the second one. 

Not stopping, he flipped the gun again to see the men he’d knocked over getting up. The one with the shot hand had picked his gun back up and the one without a gun was holding a knife now. Monogram was still picking himself up off the floor, staying down so he didn’t get targeted. Perry would deal with him later. Carl was nowhere to be seen, but Perry didn’t spare too much thought on that. 

He walked slowly around his attackers, circling them like a predator circles his prey. He churred again in warning. Knifeman rushed him, brandishing his weapon high above him. Perry caught him with a punch in the stomach, slashing up with the gun to smack him in the jaw. He, unfortunately, did not go down that easily. The assailant dragged the knife across Perry’s head, cutting from his left temple across his forehead and up his hairline. Perry punched him again and again in the stomach then kicked him in the sweet spot. The opposing agent fell backwards onto the floor, giving the other a clear shot. He took it, hitting Perry in the stomach. That probably wasn’t good. He struggled onwards despite the pain in his leg and the blood dripping into his eyes. 

Rushing the gunman, he quickly knocked him out with a smack to his head from the butt of the gun. That didn’t take long. He then pulled Monogram up by his black uniform, holding him slightly off the floor by the front of his shirt. He hissed into the man’s face a warning, then smacked him in the head with his gun. Again and again. He wouldn’t go down! 

Perry shoved him to the floor, kicked him in the side. Monogram coughed a couple times and Perry shoved him with his foot across the room. He came over and knelt on Monogram, punched him in the face. Monogram hardly flinched. He was a general, after all. He smacked him, open palm. Some pain was inserting itself in Perry’s back but he paid it no attention. He kept whaling on Monogram until something pulled him away, shoving him to the ground and grinding a heel into his neck. After he began to gasp, the pressure removed itself and a blow came to his side. 

Monogram stood and dusted himself off. “Peregrine, really. I’m not the one who made these orders so by threatening me, you only worsen the situation for yourself. All this could have been over 2 months ago if you’d just said goodbye. You could have been work buddies with the children! But now you can’t. So just stop struggling and come with us.” 

Perry struggled to sit up as he was kicked again. The kicks came full-force, to his head, his sides, his stomach. He felt a wrist snap and some ribs break as he was repeatedly kicked by the man. A particularly hard kick to the head sent sparks dancing across his vision. He was beginning to lose consciousness. Perry couldn’t take this much longer. 

Something bright flew at the attacker. “Hey! Stop kicking him like that! What’s wrong with you! You jerk!” Phineas screamed as he knocked his previous assailant off-balance. The boy latched onto the man’s front, kicking and punching him. The man easily knocked over the child and sent him skidding across the room. But it was just enough. 

Perry grabbed his ankle and forced him over, knocking him to the ground. The agent tried using his knife to get him to let go of his ankle, but Perry threw on a vice grip despite the multiple stabs to his fingers. He forced himself to his knees and came down on the attacker. He grabbed the man’s wrist holding the knife and wrenched it from him before stabbing his arms, his legs, his face, anything he could reach. He went insane, slashing and scratching and screaming. Perry was only dimly aware of the sounds that he was emitting; long, hoarse, scratchy noises that sounded more like a dying cat being hit and crushed by a lawn mower than a human man. 

Eventually the man stopped fighting back. Perry was slow to realize at first, but when he did, he stopped and stared. Covered in blood. It was everywhere, all over his pajama pants, the floor. He was coated with it. The smell was thick in the air. Had he… was this man dead? He saw his father’s face imprinted over the agent’s. He’d killed his father again. Oh, God. Why? Why did he keep doing this? Where was his mother? Was she here too? Perry looked at the knife in his hand, coated in the sticky red. It infected him, it was covering him. He wasn’t in control anymore. He lowered his head, tears permeating his eyes. Perry’s throat opened for the first time in years, “ _ I’m so sorry.” _ What had he done? He’d always taken the cases that would not involve him assassinating people if he could. He did not want to end up as bad as those who wronged him so long ago. The room was suddenly his old living room. He was alone with his mother and father. Standing wasn’t an option, he was glued to the floor by the red that he had spilt. He squeezed his eyes shut and reopened them, he was still there! He’d never left his family home! The robbers were gone and he was left with the bodies of his parents at his feet. He had caused this. He still smelled the rotted pudding and the flesh of his parents going bad. Perry tried calling out, but his throat wouldn’t respond. The most he could manage was a rough  _ whoosh _ . Why couldn’t he scream? His lips were forming words that he no longer had thoughts or control over. 

He couldn’t breathe, his eyes went dark. Someone was yelling, who was yelling? It was only him alone in the house. The voice kept yelling as his lips acted of their own accord, “ _ Mum, Dad, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I want to go home! I want to see Lawrence again! Please, wake up!”  _ Fists were banging against his father’s chest, trying to wake him up. He couldn’t just be alone!

Something clicked next to his ear and he felt something cold against his temple. “Peregrine, really, you are acting like a child. That is  _ enough _ .” Perry swiveled his head slowly and there was the robber! He was back! Perry tried to say something but he didn’t even know if noises were possible over the screaming in his ears. He mouthed words but he didn’t even know what he was saying. “ _ I told them. I tried so hard and I told them. _ ” Since when had the robber had a white moustache? 

Perry looked up to see someone peeking from behind a wall. He recognized him. Long nose, dark eyes, brown hair. What was his name? Perry’s hands moved in a language he  _ knew _ that he knew but he couldn’t remember how,  _ I’m sorry. Take care of them for me. I wish we could have made it work.  _ Perry smiled a little. He could finally see his parents again. And Lawrence. He tried remembering something, there were other people he cared about too. Younger than him, but his brain was lacking. Was it that man staring at him? His eyes were wide, his mouth hung open. Perry wondered what-

A single shot. That snapped Perry back to the present immediately. A moment of all his memories flooding back to him - OWCA, Lawrence, the kids, Heinz,  _ the kids and Heinz _ . Wait, that was Heinz watching him a moment ago. Hadn’t Perry told him specifically not to watch? He opened his eyes to see the gun held to his head was gone. It was discarded on the floor. He whipped around to see Monogram cradling his arm. “Wh-what just. Who?” Perry looked in the doorway. 

Carl stood there with a still-smoking pistol, left from the other agent. He looked pale, as if he just now realized that he’d shot someone. “Sir, that is also enough. Don’t you see he just wants to live out his own life with his nephews? The police are almost here. I called them. The agency is going to be under new management if I have anything to say about it.”

Monogram’s face went beet red. “You- you’re just an  _ intern! _ ” 

“Yes, sir, but they won’t care about that when they ask me to be a witness. It’s time OWCA finally got what was coming for it for a long time. I’m putting in a call with the FBI. This is getting taken to court. Between the poor treatment of workers and the attempted murder of not only employees but children, I’m sure the federal court will have fun with this.”

Monogram paled. “Carl, you’ve been interning here for a long time. This is how you repay us?” 

“You mean with the college credit? You didn’t even pay me for doing most of your paperwork for 2 years! I could have gotten that credit almost anywhere!”

Perry took the opportunity to pin down Monogram. He held his hands together and stole the handcuffs from his pocket, effectively sealing the man’s hands behind his back. 

Before long, police were flooding in. They took away Monogram and Perry was asked questions but he disregarded them. He pressed his fingers to the neck of the brutalized agent, feeling desperately for a pulse. He wasn’t there long enough to be able to find one, for he was almost immediately hauled up onto a stretcher by two black uniforms. 

_ Is he breathing? Is he alive?  _ He kept signing to no one in particular. But of course, no cops understood him. They wouldn’t let his family close as he was whisked away to have his wounds examined. The uniforms took him away and he tried crying out - but his voice closed up. He couldn’t make sounds. He writhed on the stretcher as a woman in a white uniform above him told him to calm down, sir please calm down. You’re losing a lot of blood. He couldn’t, he needed to see the kids and Heinz. He couldn’t just  _ leave _ . He kept signing this to her over and over but she didn’t understand. Why couldn’t anyone understand him? 

Sitting up and reaching out, Perry was forced back onto the stretcher. He clicked his tongue and pointed wildly at the direction of the hallway his family was down. He had to see them, he had to ensure they were okay! He could be patched up later! The uniform closest to him said something but all he caught was “family” and “generally unharmed”. But what if they were wrong? He  _ had _ to get to them. Briefly, the face of Heinz appeared over the crowd, looking at Perry. He was too far away for Perry to glean much more information than that through his terrified state. Perry’s arm reached out again, trying to grab him, but this time the uniforms restrained him to the bed. 

He started snapping his fingers to try to get people’s attention, someone,  _ anyone _ . He had to see them. He had to make sure they were okay. They ignored him and his thrashing as they loaded him and the woman into the back of the ambulance and closed the doors behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People really liked the action scenes so here's another one. I actually really like how this one came out.


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry is in the hospital, now is obviously the time for self-reflection as you're high on painkillers and fatigue. (tw: blood, surgery, hospitals)

The hospital was boring. The white walls, the drone of the heart monitor, all of it was boring and old. As it turns out, his ankle had been broken and he’d been stabbed in the back (literally) by one of the agents. So, on top of his broken bones and gunshot wounds, he was not allowed to get up. He couldn’t even open the window to look outside. He’d been in here for hours, alone. The doctors had been forced to perform emergency surgery because the bullets in his abdomen had caused internal bleeding and trauma. It was a miracle they hadn’t hit his heart, one mentioned. 

His right hand was in a cast and slung against his body. He could feel the casting around his ankle, the bandages around his legs and torso. Due to the broken ribs, he’d been instructed to take a deep breath every few minutes to avoid pneumonia and the bandages couldn’t be too tight. The bandages around his head didn’t ostruct his vision, but they sure did itch around his hair. He had a black eye, he’d been told, along with a broken nose and a bruised jawbone. 

In conclusion, he was a mess. Well, that’s what happens when you take on four armed men at once with only a pocket knife. And their leader. 

What if he’d actually killed that man? He likely had a family, maybe a wife and kids waiting for him to come home. And if he never did? Because Perry lost control? And Heinz had watched him the whole time he stabbed the man. He probably hated him now. If nothing else, he’d probably be alright keeping the kids but Perry would most certainly be kicked out. Oh, and he definitely deserved it. He’d only just murdered a man on Doof’s doormat. And what if he’d been hurt by a flying bullet? What if Phineas had been hurt? Last he’d seen was Phineas thrown to the floor by the agent. What if he was seriously hurt? 

Perry was pulled from his thoughts by his door opening. The main doctor who had operated on him peeked inside before entering. “Well, Peregrine, I must say you are lucky. If you had been in there for even five more minutes, we would not have been able to help you. As it is, you will be in recovery for a long time and will have to stay in the hospital for awhile. Extensive physical therapy will be needed to revive your leg muscles and to get your hand back to working order, but you will definitely survive. You still need a bit more rest before you can have visitors, but if you improve by morning, you should be able to have some. I will send a nurse to check in on you soon. Is there anything you need for now?”

Perry pointed to the window. 

“Oh, yes, I forgot you do not speak. With your hand in a cast like that, I understand it will be difficult to sign.” Perry phantomed writing. “You are right-handed though, yes? Well, if you can write with your left hand at all, I can definitely get some paper and pens delivered up here.” The doctor opened up the curtains, giving Perry a lovely view of the night sky. “Well, if you do not need anything else, I will be leaving. The call button is on the bed frame if you need anything. A nurse will be in to check on you every few hours or so. I’ll see you in the morning, Mr. Fletcher.”

Perry smiled and nodded, waving with his left hand. And then he was alone again. 

What was going to happen? It was almost for certain that Doof did not want him around anymore. Maybe that just meant that Perry could go through with his first idea of moving out and living alone again, since the kids most likely would not want to be around him either. He’d fucked up again. He sighed to himself and looked out the window at the night sky. It was starting to get chillier outside. It had been September when Lawrence and Linda had passed, so doing the math in his head, it had to be sometime in November. He hadn’t paid attention to the days at all ever since the funeral. Has Thanksgiving already passed? Was it December? Usually, the Flynn-Fletchers take the first weekend in December to decorate the house and find a tree. Perry liked to stick around as long as he could, but had never gotten to stay home long enough to complete the process. He’d always have to leave halfway through for a call from OWCA. 

What was going to happen with OWCA? Technically, it was no longer a concern of his, but he had given so much to them that he couldn’t help but wonder. Maybe the organization would be remade better? Would he even want to return to them if it did? He no longer knew. 

Sleep whisked him away as he continued to think of what the next few days would hold for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that this chapter made more sense in my head than it did on paper


	13. Visiting Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry gets to have visitors, finally. What will Heinz and the kids say about what happened?

“Well, Mr. Fletcher, I believe you can have visitors now. There have been five people more than insistent on seeing you. You may see them, but not all at once. I’d prefer it if you said hello in pairs. ”

Perry scribbled on his notepad awkwardly with his left hand.  _ They’re good kids, the teenagers are calm, they won’t be too rowdy. Please, could I see them together? _

The nurse paused. “I’ll ask the doctor. If he does say yes, they will have to be on their best behavior. No bouncing, only the lightest of hugs, and no signing. Understood?” Perry nodded enthusiastically. She said they had been waiting for him? He was still worried about their reactions to seeing him again but that had to be good, right? The nurse left the room for a moment and returned soon after. “The doctor says that they can all visit on one condition: that you allow us to help you in getting to the toilet this time instead of getting there yourself. Does that sound agreeable?” Perry nodded again. It was just so awkward for someone to have to help him into the restroom. It was less than ten feet from his bed, after all! He should be able to reach it alone! He had reached it last time, but only at the expense of reopening his leg wounds and having to call a nurse to stop the blood flow. 

She nodded. “Well, they are sitting downstairs currently. The oldest has been there since visiting hours started this morning, it’s been three hours. The children, four of them, joined him about ten minutes ago when we told him that we would be allowing you visitors.” She paused and sighed. “He was… very excited by that.” Perry chuckled silently. Oh, that was definitely Heinz. “Anyhow, I’ll go retrieve them. Make sure to stay in bed and don’t get too excited. If you need, don’t be afraid to call us to shoo them out.” And with that, she left. 

Not ten minutes later, he heard footsteps coming down the hall towards his room. A lot of footsteps. “Remember, just keep the volume to a minimum. He’s not ready for much more than handshakes yet. His ribs still need to heal before hugs.” Perry’s door opened to reveal the nurse, who smiled at him. She held the door open for Phineas and Ferb, who came right up to his bed. “Uncle Perry! We’ve been so worried about you. They said they had to do a bunch of surgery on you and that you had to take longer and longer in here to heal. It’s been three days! The apartment feels so weird without you there.” Ferb nodded along with what Phin was saying. Perry smiled at them and reached out his good hand to ruffle their hair.  _ I missed you guys, too. It’s really boring here. _

Candace and Vanesse were on the other side of his bed now. “We didn’t see anything that happened but man the crime scene was awful… please tell me not a lot of that blood was yours, Uncle Perry?” Candace asked. Perry shrugged. He really had no idea what it had looked like after everything. 

Heinz came in last and paused at the entrance, staring at Perry. His eyes widened a little. Perry waved at him with his good hand.  _ Never seen a hospital before, Heinz? _ The scientist blinked. “Not exactly, it’s just weird seeing you here. Usually you’re beating me up. To see you actually in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and covered in bandages is weird. Not a good weird, either. I’d prefer to never see it again after this is all over.” Perry nodded. Man, he would love to never be in a hospital again, too. 

From the door came, “Mr. Fletcher? Just remember not to sign too much, especially with that right hand. It raises the heart rate if too much movement happens at once. Do you need another notepad?” Perry shook his head. “Alright then. Don’t excite him too much, or we’ll have to come in and have someone leave. Lunch will come up in an hour for you, Mr. Fletcher.” She nodded at the group and left, shutting the door behind her. 

“Uncle Perry… what happened? All we heard was that you were in surgery and then you weren’t progressing like they thought. Are you gonna be okay?” Perry nodded at Phineas.  _ Yes, I’ll be fine. _ “Where are you hurt?” Perry hesitated. Even he knew it was a lot. He pinched his forehead and thought about whether or not he really wanted to have to share with the boys. “Please? We all want to know… how bad it is. And if it’s all going to heal okay.” 

Perry tried to draw a rough outline of a human on the notepad. Everyone gathered to watch him. “Perry, do you want some help? You’re just drawing a person, right?” Perry nodded at Vanessa and slid the pad over to her so she could draw a better man. His looked something like a lopsided whale more than a man. He wasn’t an artist even with his dominant hand. 

When she was done, she gave it back to him with the pen. He wrote “Front” above the diagram. Then he started blocking in the injuries he had. An oval over his abdomen for the bullet wounds. Scribbles over the right wrist. Rough outline of ribs. More lines over his left thigh. His left ankle. His forehead. He asked Vanessa to draw another one on a separate page, which he labelled “Back”. He made longer lines where he guessed that the man had stabbed him. He then put down the pen and gestured to the bruises still healing on his face. 

_ Overall, not great. Doc says they’ll heal just fine, just have to make sure not to disturb my insides and ribs.  _ Heinz took the notepad and flipped between the two pages, absorbing the information. “No wonder they didn’t let us in for so long, you were falling apart at the seams.  _ Gott _ , Perry. You… you could have died. No, it’s more likely that you should be dead. Internal bleeding? Left untreated for over thirty minutes? When you come home, I am not letting you do anything for a long time. That is a threat.”

Perry had to take that in. When he went home? Home?  _ When? _ Not  _ if _ ? He’d half-expected Heinz to come up and say that he was going to be asking Perry to leave after the debacle with him stabbing a guy to death in his home. He kept his hands still, however, as the boys started talking about how they would make a machine that could get things for him so that he’d never have to get up to do things. Candace scolded them and said that was too much. Vanessa laughed at their antics. This continued on for a while, light banter, through Perry’s lunch. The kids decided to go get something from the food court, leaving him alone with Doof. 

It was silent now. Heinz was sitting on the visitor’s bench by the window, aimlessly looking at the sink and medical supplies. Perry hated to ruin this peaceful moment, but he had to know. He waved for Heinz’s attention.  _ Heinz. You saw what I did. It was pretty bad, even by my standards. You don’t want me to leave after that? You saw what I can do. I hate it, but it’s what happens when I really lose it. I’m not in control of myself. I could have killed him. Actually, I don’t even know if I did. He could be dead. _

“Perry, I’m not kicking you out. You only do things like that when you’re pushed to the limit, you’ve said so yourself. That doesn’t happen often. Even when it does, it’s usually to protect someone else. Not once have I ever seen you get angry like that and you are usually caring and kind. Your kids love you. I’m not making you leave, especially after literally almost giving your life for them. Besides, that’s not why I was staring at you like that. I heard you talk. You were  _ talking _ . You had an accent and everything. Your eyes glazed over and you were screaming and you didn’t even see anything when people tried talking to you. You just kept yelling apologies and you almost seemed like a little kid. Are… are you okay?” Heinz rubbed his neck and looked at Perry with concern. Perry didn’t remember much from that night, to be completely honest. If he was talking, then he must have really lost his mind. 

Perry nodded.  _ I’m fine now. I had an aggressive flashback when I saw the body I was kneeling over. This happened last time, too, with that other villain I told you about. I nearly killed him and then I saw my parents again. I was back in that house, stuck to the floor with their blood. It’s exhausting whenever I have one. Last time, I slept for days. I technically did here, too. Monogram just became one of the robbers. I didn’t recognize anything or anyone. I was 6 years old again and wondering where Lawrence was.  _ He gave out a long breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.  _ But I’m better now. As long as I’m not in those kinds of situations, I’m able to handle myself alright.  _

Heinz sat for a moment in silence, looking at Perry with a perplexed expression. “And as they were taking you to the hospital, you looked absolutely  _ terrified _ . You even punched an EMT trying to get off the stretcher. Do you have bad experiences with hospitals or something?”  _ No, I think I was just going into shock. I really wanted to check everyone and make sure they were all okay. I didn’t know if some bullets went through the wall. I don’t remember punching an EMT though.  _ “Well, you shouldn't have to after that. I went through some weird things but… I don’t think I ever watched a murder. I can’t even imagine.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “The paperwork came in. Everything’s official. Now, on a side note, Perry, did you  _ actually _ think I’d just throw you out?” No answer. “Who do you think I am? I don’t just do that! Listen, I want you to come live in my apartment again. I like having you and the kids around. They’ve missed you a lot and are really excited for you to come home soon. Not only that, but Thanksgiving is next week. They really hope you can come home before that. Candace and Vanessa want to try their hand at making some kind of dinner and Vanessa said I was not allowed to just make an inator that would do it. That we have to do it ‘the old-fashioned way’. I know you are the best cook out of all of us, but you are not allowed to stand up long enough to cook, so we'll just have to make due with what we can.”

_ Oh, is that why you want me around? So I can cook for you? _ Perry asked, grinning. 

“While it is a nice bonus, no. Anyway, they wanted to make this recipe Vanessa found…” Doof chatted for a while about what the kids planned to make for dinner on Thanksgiving and that they had some special things planned for when Perry got to leave. Before long, the kids came back from their expedition for lunch. 

All too soon, visiting hours were over. The family was kicked out of Perry’s room with promises from the staff that they could visit again tomorrow. They did their nightly rounds for Perry and he reported his day to the kindly nurse. He rested well that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have gone a bit overboard with Perry's wounds, whoops. Well, he's alive still! I'm not that cruel


	14. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are setting up for Thanksgiving and despite bad news from Dr. D, they will still have a good holiday. (NOTE: this is in the POV of the kids. Not Perry.)

While Perry was recuperating in the hospital, the kids had been getting buzzed about Thanksgiving. Uncle Perry might get to go home soon! While they hadn’t heard much from the adults about his condition or arrival day, they knew that he was getting better and stronger by the day. The boys planned an elaborate welcome home party for him, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz managed to convince them that a small celebration would be fine for him. The doctors say not to stress him out too much, after all. In the end, they settled on something smaller. They made plans for when he could be home, things they could do to make sure he didn’t get too bored. 

An executive decision was eventually made to make something simple for Thanksgiving instead of having a grandiose meal (namely because of the lack of a competent cook). Candace made a welcome-home banner and the boys decorated the front room with streamers and some balloons. Doofenshmirtz had been saying that Perry should most likely be home by Thanksgiving day and they wanted everything perfect. When Vanessa came over, she even pitched in. 

In the middle of the frenzy, the doctor came in, looking crestfallen. “I just got a message from Perry. They won’t release him until tomorrow at the earliest. He developed pneumonia because of his ribs pressing on his lungs and they want to monitor him for another night. He said to go ahead and have dinner without him and he can just have leftovers tomorrow. I’m gonna go out and get the last of the stuff we need for that, but go ahead and start doing what you can to prepare, kids.” There was a loud sigh from everyone, even Vanessa. 

“Well, all this won’t go to waste, at least. He should be back tomorrow!” 

“Phineas, he might not be. What if his pneumonia gets worse?” Candace pointed out. 

“It might not, though. He could still come home soon! Let’s not take everything down. He told us to go ahead and have dinner anyway. Let’s get started. There’s no way of knowing when Dr. D will be back, anyway.” Vanessa took the lead with the stove cooking and her and Candace started working on the meat while the boys focused more on setting the table and getting them the ingredients they needed. Before long, the house smelled of sizzling chicken breast and steaming veggies. 

From the front door came a shout, “Kids! Help me with the groceries!” The boys raced over to take the stuff from Dr. D but found no groceries in his hands. Confused, Ferb raised his eyebrows. The scientist grinned and pulled a wheelchair out from behind the door frame, revealing one tired Perry. The chair-bound outpatient waved his good hand and smiled at them. 

“Uncle Perry! You’re back!” Phineas jumped towards him, grabbing his good arm and hugging it. “We thought you wouldn’t be home in time for dinner!” 

Perry, still smiling, tapped Phineas on the side so his arm could be free and he could sign.  _ I do have pneumonia, but it’s not contagious anymore and I’m on medicine for it. Should clear up soon. Something smells good. _ Ferb was grinning like a madman, he came forward more slowly than Phin had and rested his hand on Perry’s armrest. 

Phineas led them into the kitchen, chatting excitedly about dinner and pointing out the decor. “Candace, Vanessa, look who made it!”

“ _ Uncle Perry? _ I thought you had to stay another night!” Candace reached down for a hug, which Perry returned to the best of his ability. “What’s with the wheelchair, though?” 

“Just until the ankle heals is what I heard. I might be wrong, though. I have his crutches in the car still but he won’t need them for another couple weeks yet.” Perry nodded, confirming. 

“Well, then, I guess we’ll just have to help out wherever we can!” Phineas grinned, setting the table with Ferb. “We’re about done here. I’ll move that chair and Uncle Perry can just wheel over there.” The boys moved the empty chair into the living room for now, allowing Dr. D to wheel him into the place at the head of the table. Candace and Vanessa finished up their cooking. Food was partitioned out to everyone and the table was alive with conversation. Perry commented on the decor and how much he had missed being home with everyone. The boys talked about some inventions they were excited to make and Vanessa nodded along with everyone. 

It wasn’t until Perry had a coughing fit that everyone remembered what had happened a mere few days ago. He had been silently giggling at something Candace had said, which threw him into a fit. His rumbling coughs emanated from deep in his chest, they were easily some of the loudest sounds he had ever produced from his throat (disregarding screaming, that is). Heinz stood and patted him on the back and the room fell strangely quiet. Perry coughed for a full minute before finally subsiding into gasping breaths and a drink of water. 

“Uncle Perry, are you sure you’re okay?” Phineas asked. Perry nodded and smiled weakly.  _ Just tired. Food is very good, I feel bad not helping you clean up. I don’t think I’m allowed to, though. I might head off to bed.  _ Heinz took that as his cue to help him into the bedroom as the kids were left at the table looking at each other. “You guys heard it too right… during everything that night. He talked,” Phin whispered after he was sure they were out of earshot. 

Ferb nodded solemnly.  _ He sounded like Dad.  _

“That makes sense. Do you think he’ll be able to do it again someday? Talk?” Vanessa shook her head at Candace. 

“I’ve seen some things Dad went through and stuff like that isn’t magically cured. I don’t mind it personally. If it makes him feel better, I don’t think he needs to be forced to.” Everyone nodded in agreement as Heinz returned to the kitchen, this time one secret agent short. 

“Sorry, everyone, he still isn’t able to push it himself yet. Maybe I can build one that’s motorized for him?”

“Oooh, can we add metal arms so that he can reach stuff too? And a stabilizing mechanism that can climb stairs and even make it able to lift him into and out of it?” Phineas fired off, his eyes shining with ideas. 

At the mention of metal arms, Heinz lightly touched his own. He still hadn't mentioned that yet, he realized. The boys would probably be fascinated. “If you think you won’t hurt yourselves, maybe. Tools can be a little hard to use-” 

Candace immediately cut in, “Oh, don’t you worry, Dr. D. They’ve been building fully functional things that defy physics since they were 5. I think they can handle a wheelchair.” She glanced over at Ferb who had already produced a large blueprint from his toolbelt and was drawing plans on it with Phineas. 

“And maybe they’ll keep you from adding a self-destruct button on it,” Vanessa added. 

Heinz thought for a moment. “What if you two showed me some of the stuff you can make? I’m interested now. I promised your uncle I wouldn’t show you anything evil, but he never said I couldn’t see what you built.” 

The boys grinned and nodded. They were going to have fun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt weird to write something in third person for once. One more chapter to go!


	15. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We jump to Christmas Eve celebrations and some older familiar faces. Maybe some romantic stuffs. This is just straight-up indulgence and I regret nothing

Perry hobbled himself into the main room as Doof closed the door behind them. The kids had really outdone the decorating, there were strings of lights around the upper corners of the room and little Santas everywhere. The tree was decorated handsomely, covered in lights and ornaments and adorned with a toy train the boys had rigged to climb around the tree in a Mobius strip. Without a track. The kids were all in their rooms currently, except for Vanessa, who was at her mom’s. She’d be over later that night. 

With the boot, the crutches were still necessary. Perry was more than relieved when he could graduate from the wheelchair to the crutches (though the wheelchair Heinz and the boys had made for him was amazing, he was getting antsy). His ankle still had pins in it and needed a few more weeks with the cast on before he could begin working it again. Perry propped his crutches against the couch and stood similarly to a highly overdressed flamingo as he shrugged off his coat and hat and right boot. Once all were discarded, he made his way with his pieces across the family room to the kitchen for something hot. 

The house was weirdly quiet without the sound of the kids moving around. They had said they were discussing stuff for tomorrow morning and to not peek in on them, so Perry just sent a quick text to Candace to make sure they were doing alright. He might have now been officially a member of LOVEMUFFIN and still healing from that last debacle, but damn if he wouldn’t do it again if he needed to. 

Heinz had already whirled his way into the kitchen and started heating up some leftovers. “How about some hot cocoa to go with this? Text the kids and ask if they want some too.” Perry nodded and checked his phone. Message from Candace confirming that they were, in fact, still alive and well. Perry messaged back the offer for hot cocoa and slid his phone away. He watched Heinz prepare dinner with the microwave that Perry had absolutely  _ insisted _ he did not “enhance”. They did not need to buy another microwave or have another explosion. Thankfully, it had been Heinz himself on the receiving end of the last one and not one of the kids. Perry might have suddenly remembered some of Heinz’s weak spots if that had happened. 

Dinner was served. Heinz was definitely getting better at cooking (and reheating) under Perry’s instruction. The food was still a bit cold in the middle but it was still lukewarm and not burnt! Definitely a step up. As they dug in. Perry tapped the table to get Heinz’s attention. The scientist looked up at him with a mouth full of spaghetti. “Hmm?”

_ Are you taking the day off tomorrow, or just the morning? I know it hardly ever takes long but the kids were wondering earlier.  _ Heinz nodded, swallowing his food. “Yep! Just a day with you and them. The kids, I mean. I figured maybe it’s time to give the agent a day off, too,” he added with a glance at Perry, mouth twitching as he tried not to grin. Perry reached across the table and lightly punched him in the arm. “What! It was  _ one time _ ! I always just assumed you’d lived alone!” 

“We heard there was hot chocolate?” Three more joined them in the kitchen. Heinz nodded and jerked his head in the direction of the counter, where he’d left out the powder packets and milk. “Sweet!” Phin went over and started prepping cups for himself and his siblings. “Is Vanessa going to be over soon? Should I get a cup started for her?”

“She should be over within the hour sometime, she still hasn’t texted me that she’s left yet. I’d just put away the milk and ask if she wants some later.” Heinz did a quick look-over on his phone to make sure the text was not there. 

A knock at the door. 

“Well that can’t be Vanessa, unless she just forgot to text me. I’ll get it.” Heinz stood from his plate and left to greet whoever it was. Perry raised another forkful of pasta to his mouth, but stopped and listened as he heard a familiar voice. 

“Perry! It’s your friend from OWCA!” As Heinz started shouting, Perry grabbed his crutches and stood, hobbling his way to the door. Pinky, wearing a coat and scarf, stood in the doorway, grinning toothily. 

“Hey, man! Good to see you’re finally healing up. Sorry for not announcing I was coming earlier, but I got some news for you. Good stuff. Can I come in? I also brought a friend that wanted to say hello.” Perry raised his eyebrows. Pinky stepped aside to reveal little Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, bundled up with a purple coat and her normal pink bow. She looked absolutely stunned. 

“P-uh. Perry?! This is where you’ve been? Why are you on crutches?” She paused and looked past him. “Is everyone else here too?” Perry looked at Doof and signalled him to call everyone else. 

“Kids! Someone is here to see you!” Ferb peeked out first with his mug of cocoa in hand before he saw who was there. His eyes widened to comic proportions and he ran back into the kitchen, followed moments later by Phineas. His mouth hung open for a second before he remembered to shut it. Perry gestured at the pair to come inside, pointing them to the couch. He maneuvered himself over there as well, following them.  _ Take off your coats, stay awhile. Seems like you might be here a minute.  _

“Isabella!” Phineas cried out suddenly. “We haven’t seen you in forever! Not since uh… well, not for a long time!” She giggled and reached out for a hug, which he gladly accepted. “Oh, we have so much to catch up on! Well, wait…” he paused and looked between Pinky and Perry, asking. 

“Gather around, little man. I got some news on the OWCA front.” Candace decided to come in at this moment, walking in from the kitchen with her mug and stopping when she saw their visitors. 

She was not so easily shocked, however. “Oh, hey Isabella. Do you guys want some cocoa too?” Isabella nodded and Pinky declined. As Candace went back to start one more cup, Pinky looked over at Perry. 

“I meant to come over sooner after the whole thing with Monogram but I heard that you were pretty badly injured and you needed to recoup. Then OWCA started redoing all it’s everything and I got involved in it and well, now was the soonest I could! This won’t take too long, though, if you have plans or anything.” 

Perry shook his head.  _ I think we were gonna watch Polar Express in Christmas pajamas but that was about it. The movie can happen after whatever you have to tell us. _ Heinz nodded his agreement as he moved to sit by Perry on the end of the couch, pressing his thigh against Perry’s. Perry patted his leg. 

“Well, then, hold onto your butts, because this is a doozy. Well, after Monogram came here and did whatever he did, he got arrested. Carl had ended up calling the cops and the FBI to do a full-on investigation and found all kind of undesirable things. The higher-ups got arrested or went on the run, too, because of all kinds of things. Fraud, embezzlement, work malpractice, even murder in one guy’s case. After that, they realized that there still needed to be an OWCA to keep the villains under wraps, but there were a lot of responsibilities taken from the org. We don’t do all kinds of spy missions in other countries anymore, we mostly just stick to a single nemesis. Much more straightforward. They got the Department of Labor involved too, and long story short, we get paid a living wage now. We get a paid vacation and even days off, prearranged between villain and agent. It’s way different now. 

“And we can now tell our families about our jobs without fear of serious consequences, if we feel comfortable with it. Some agents didn’t want to have that conversation and just decided to say they got promoted. But we don’t have to lie anymore. Which is why I’m saying all this in front of Iz. She knows what happened. And what happened to you guys. Well, at least the gist. That you were chased from home, had to live under the radar, that kind of thing.” 

Isabella nodded. “But Perry, I didn’t know that something else happened. Or are you still healing from the chase?” 

Perry glanced at Pinky to make sure it was okay for him to explain to an 11-year-old girl what had happened in this room. Pinky nodded. “It’s chill, her mom was surprisingly okay with me being an agent.” 

_ Well, about a month after we got here, the agency found us. We were still on the run. They brought men with guns and tried to kidnap Phineas and Ferb and kill me. I got hurt, but I lived. And no one else got hurt. Now, I’m registered with the ‘evil’ agency as Dr. D’s assistant and we’ve been living here with him.  _

“Is that Dr. D then?” She gestured to Heinz. 

“Yes, my name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. The kids all call me Dr. D, though. I’m the evil scientist Perry used to fight every day but now he works with me. Not really on the evil things, he works more as just a glorified office assistant than anything else. If the agent that battles me now gets too rowdy, Perry threatens them, but otherwise he’s just there.” 

Isabella smiled. “Nice to meet you, Dr. D.” Candace had returned with the mug for Isabella sometime during all that, Perry realized, for she took a sip of it. 

“Hey Isabella, how about we let them all talk and we can show you some of the stuff we’ve made lately? We made Uncle Perry a motorized wheelchair when he first came home from the hospital and that train on the tree and Dr. D has been making some other stuff with us!” The kids left for their bedroom. Candace went to the kitchen to scroll her phone in peace, leaving the men together. 

When they were left, Pinky lowered his voice. “I also came here for another reason. OWCA asked if you’d want to come back. You’ve been cleared of any allegations against you and the new management said they would completely understand if you didn’t want to. But they asked if I could come and extend the offer. It’s up to you.” 

Perry sat for a moment. He really hadn’t even begun work with LOVEMUFFIN yet, so he couldn’t say whether or not he’d actually liked it or not. On the other hand, OWCA had basically ruined his life. They’d betrayed him and nearly killed him, more than once. And yet… he did have some friends back at the office. He had been so passionate about it once and he truly had enjoyed his time as a nemesis. He didn’t  _ have _ to work for either agency, either. He could get a different job in town once he was finished healing completely. 

_ I’ll have to think about it. Though I think that if I ever did return to OWCA, I’d be done with being in the field. I don’t want a new nemesis and I don’t want to be put in serious danger again. I really haven’t experienced anything much with LOVEMUFFIN yet so I have nothing to base off of. I’d need something more than just paperwork, though. I can’t sit still for too long. If they could offer me a position that I’m interested in, I’ll think on it.  _

Pinky nodded. “That makes sense, dude. Especially since it seems like you’re not leaving here anytime soon.” He felt Heinz tense slightly next to him at that. They hadn’t discussed the topic of them moving out since before the attempted kidnapping. Perry nodded.  _ You’re right on that one. We still haven’t talked about much other than job related things. I still need to heal my ankle and undergo physical therapy before I’ll be considered for more than an office job.  _ Heinz’s thigh stayed tensed, though Perry heard a breath sucked in behind his ear. Apparently Perry’s use of the word  _ we _ had not gone unnoticed by Pinky. The blonde winked. “I’ll let them know. With so many new positions to be filled, I’m sure they can find something for you. I’ll keep in touch. And if the boys are ever feeling antsy or anything, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro told me to tell you that you and the boys are welcome. Are the kids going back to school in the spring?” 

The conversation switched to lighter things and they stayed talking together for another hour or so. Perry drank his cocoa and found himself leaning more and more into Heinz as the conversation topics wore on. Apparently Agent E wanted to check in on him, too, and Perry was telling Pinky to give her his phone number when the door knocked again. Heinz gently moved Perry off of him to answer it. “Oh, Vanessa, sweetie! I didn’t see your text, my phone was in the kitchen! Come on in, we have hot cocoa if you want it!” Vanessa came in and waved at Perry and Pinky and chatted with Heinz as he asked her about her week. 

“I think that might be my cue, Iz’s mom wants us home so we can get up early and unwrap gifts tomorrow morning. I’ll go get her and we’ll be on our way. It was good seeing you, dude.” Perry nodded back. It really had been nice. 

Phineas and Ferb walked Isabella to the door and Perry hobbled over to see them out. After he shut the door behind the two, the boys ran to the back of the house to change into their pajamas. Perry stood by the door for a moment and waddled into the kitchen, standing in the doorway. Candace noticed him and tapped Vanessa on the shoulder. “We’re gonna go get changed for the movie, too. Might be a minute because, you know, girl stuff.” She hid her face as she and Vanessa beelined out of the room, grinning. Perry frowned and shook his head. Teenagers. 

“Do you know what that was about? Vanessa kept acting odd a minute ago. Oh, well. Do you need help getting to the room? You left your crutches over by the couch again, didn’t you? You know the doctor will scold you for that - wait, what is that above your head? Did the boys put that there?” Perry looked up and immediately realized why the girls had been laughing. “Who just taped leaves to the ceiling? Well, here, I’ll just-” Heinz walked over to remove the two green leaves, but Perry stopped him.  _ Do you know about mistletoe? _ “Uh, no? Is that what that is? Why is it on my ceiling?” 

_ Well, it’s a tradition around Christmastime here in America. It;s a symbol of romance, you’ve seen it in your Hallmark movies. If two people stand underneath it, it’s bad luck if they refuse to kiss. _ Heinz’s face immediately flushed. “Oh, well, I. Uh, I can move, them, if you, er, I-”  _ Heinz. Do you like me?  _ Heinz stopped all movement and stared at him. “Well, ‘like’ can mean several different things, er, I, uh.”  _ Well, I like you. Do you want to kiss me?  _

Silence. “Yes. I do.” Perry leaned up as well as he could with his casted leg.  _ Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me.  _ Perry could feel his own face heating up uncontrollably but he was too far now. Heinz reached out his hand to grab Perry’s shoulders and steady them so he didn’t fall. Before he could lose nerve, Perry tilted his face up and pressed his lips against Heinz’s. The doctor paused for a moment to process what was happening before returning, wrapping his arms around Perry’s middle, holding him up. It was sweet, light. Promising. Perry’s stomach actually fluttered, he’d thought that was just a myth. 

When they broke apart, Heinz stared into Perry’s eyes and then looked away, bashful. Perry smiled softly and took Heinz’s chin in his hand.  _ I like you, Heinz. Would you want to give this a shot? I’ve never been in anything serious, but I’m more than willing to try if you are.  _ Heinz nodded. “I’d love to. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time now.” Perry grinned.  _ Let’s get that movie started.  _

Perry didn’t remember falling asleep curled up in Heinz’s side about an hour into the  _ Polar Express _ . He didn’t remember Heinz hauling him up and into bed, nor Heinz curling his heated body around his new boyfriend. He never saw Heinz bury his face into Perry’s neck and breathe in his scent, grinning like a schoolgirl. He didn’t hear Heinz’s giggling and little noises of joy that he had to repress so as not to awaken the agent. He didn’t feel the arm Heinz wrapped around his stomach. Neither of them had seen Candace and Vanessa getting pictures of them and saving them on Snapchat to tease them about it later. Or watched them high-five each other for a mission completed. 

Perry had instead only seen his family, together. His kids, his Heinz, his Vanessa. All of them together, happy and healthy. He had felt himself leaning on Heinz’s chest with his leg propped up on the couch. The kids sat on the floor on a pallet of blankets and pillows, eating popcorn. He’d realized that Pinky was probably very right - they were not leaving this anytime soon. As he had fallen asleep, he knew that everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's all I got! I hope you enjoyed reading! This is my first work and I really enjoyed writing again. I don't do it often

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post so. Yeah. Mostly just a spur-of-the-moment fic inspired loosely by a few others I've read here. Enjoy!


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